Archive for February, 2009

Subspace and Trance

February 28, 2009

My Lady just commanded me to post a bit on this subject, and you’ll need to bear with me for a moment because while I really can’t refuse Her, I’m not entirely sure of my own thoughts on the subject. So I’ll engage in the time-honored tradition of rambling while I collect said thoughts.

Of course, when I’m in trance, I don’t have many thoughts at all. Ditto with subspace; I know that there’s a lot of spirited debate on the subject of whether the two states are related, but to me, it always feels like a no-brainer. (Pun not intended.) Subspace is always described as that point where the endorphins and the emotions of the scene combine to create a point where the sub is no longer really capable of comprehending a reality outside of the scene. They just want it to go on forever. (In fact, The Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt calls subspace “The Forever Place”.) Lady Ru’etha and I watched a Domme named Lolita demonstrate flogging at Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire, and she described it as “getting them to a place where all they can say is ‘yes’.”

To me, that’s a longer path to where I get the moment my Lady says, “Down.” Nothing wrong with the scenic route, of course; this isn’t a discussion of which is “better”, because there isn’t one. This is a discussion of how one can be used to enhance the other. When I go into trance, it makes the experiences of BDSM more vivid, immediate, and all-encompassing right away. I feel more immersed in the scene, more open and accepting of my Lady’s direction and commands, and generally buzzed all over. (To the point of frequently becoming non-verbal; one of the things I’ve been working more on recently is trying to stay aware enough to explain to my Lady just how much I enjoy what She’s doing to me, because it’s very easy for me to sink so deeply into the sensation that I can’t do anything else but feel it.) I hit that Forever Place quicker, which means I can stay there longer and build a huge erotic charge out of the scene.

It also means that once I go into trance, I’m in subspace even if I’m not necessarily in a formal scene. Just today, my Lady tranced me over the phone, and while I was deep in that Forever Place, she had me relive the sensations of a scene we’d already done together. She wasn’t touching me, She was thousands of miles away, but I felt like she was penetrating me with Her fingers just from hearing Her speak. When physical limitations prevent the physical part of BDSM (and let’s face it, they frequently can, for a wide variety of reasons), hypnosis can give you access to that same space without having to flog your sub until the endorphins boil over.

And of course, it works the other way as well. Knowing that subspace is a form of trance means knowing that the flogging, binding, petting, and quite possibly piercing (I’m not brave enough for needles, but mad props to those who love it) are all forms of hypnotic induction. So if you learn a bit about hypnosis, you can combine that with BDSM to find more specific and deliberate ways of inducing the state of subpace quicker and more powerfully. Your subs will go deeper, faster, harder, and stay there longer because you know exactly how to dominate their mind as well as their body. It adds an extra dimension to your play, once you realize that subspace and trance are related, and inducing one can induce the other.

Reposted: Synchronicity

February 28, 2009

So I got back Monday night from a very enjoyable week spent in the company of my Lady, and not surprisingly, hypnosis was involved in the events of that week. Some of the things that happened, I probably won’t be posting in this blog–I’ll save some of it for my stories, since I really feel that this is a blog more about hypnosis than about sex, and while there’s an area where the two overlap, some of the things that happened this week were a little bit too personal for me to retell them in a place where I can’t hide behind a fictional character.

But there was one really wonderful story that happened on the last morning of the trip–in fact, it was on the trip to the airport. We were driving along, on a damp, overcast morning, both of us trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we wouldn’t be in realspace together for much longer, and suddenly, She said, “Sleep.” My eyes closed, my head lolled back onto the headrest, and I heard Her say, “Good boy.”

As we drove, She used the metaphor of the drive to reinforce my programming–I was a passenger, in my mind just as in the car, and She was the one in control. She was driving, I just needed to let myself be carried along. She reinforced a lot of my mantras (both of us get a happy thrill from the way She’s ingrained certain ideas and phrases into my head, and the call-and-response of Her saying a mantra and me instantly and eagerly repeating it is something I think we could both cheerfully do for a long time), and used some of my pleasure triggers on me until I was squirming in my seat. It was a lovely, intense experience, both the trance and the submission, and a perfect ending to my time with Her…

And then She said, “Wake,” and I opened my eyes…and there was a thick, white fog all around the car. We’d passed into a patch of fog that was right near the airport, but that wasn’t my first thought–my first idea, as I came out of trance, still a little disoriented, was that somehow She’d called the fog and wrapped it all around us, so that even as I came out of the fog of trance, I’d still be lost in the blank, white mist. It was just an absolutely brilliant use of real-world events to reinforce and deepen the significance of the trance, and it reminded me yet again of just how talented a hypnotist my Lady really is.

Reposted: It Was More Fun Than It Sounds

February 28, 2009

So there’s one more story I haven’t told from my experiences over Labor Day weekend, and it’s primarily because it’s hard to really make “I sat in a corner with my eyes closed” sound as enjoyable as it was. But I’ll do my level best.

The first thing you need to understand is that I work nights, and have for close to a decade. 9 PM to 5 AM, pretty much the last five years solid. This means that any time I take a vacation, it involves working very hard to adjust my sleep schedule to that of the people I’m hanging out with. This usually means I’m tired at odd times, alert at odd times, and generally out of sorts for a bit until I get settled in.

So the evening in question, I’d just been napping for a bit, which wasn’t quite enough to settle my jones for sleep but was enough to give me a nice big pounding headache by the time my Lady asked if I wanted to join Her and some of Her other pets for a group trance session. (Non-sexual, in public, get your mind out of the gutter.) I said yes, because I did, but due to my exhaustion and my headache, I knew I was pretty much forcing myself to tag along. So I asked, “Could You just drop me and leave me in a corner, though?” (I also explained all of the above to Her.) She said, “Sure!”

So we wandered out into the hotel, found a nice quiet spot–well, actually, it wasn’t that quiet, because the hotel muzak was playing at industrial volumes. But it was as quiet as it was going to get. Everyone got comfortable, they all looked at my Lady…and she just leaned over, brushed my forehead with Her fingertip, and I dropped into trance and slumped back against the wall. I remember hearing Her say, “It’s what he wanted,” and I remember being obscurely proud at just how easily, how effortlessly I responded to even the simplest of Her suggestions.

And that was my experience of the evening. I heard Her guide everyone else through what sounded like a very nice group trance (I was right under the Muzak speaker, so I didn’t catch all of it.) When She woke them, I opened my eyes, only to see Her looking back at me and saying, “That wasn’t for you, pet. Sleep.” And I went right back out again.

I know She did quite a bit of trancing of various different people, but I didn’t open my eyes even once for the rest of the time we were there. I shifted position to stay comfortable (while being very grateful that my Lady had taught me that you can do that and stay in trance, because corners are by definition square and heads are round, and the latter just doesn’t fit into the former.) I even spoke, a few times, because I was aware of the conversation, both the trance and non-trance portions of it. So I contributed a few words, if I thought it was important.

And at the end, my Lady told me it was time to go back to the hotel room, and woke me up. She told me later that part of the reason She woke me was because some of the people there who didn’t know me might have thought I wasn’t very deep in trance, because I was talking and lucid, and She wanted to demonstrate to them the difference between “trance me” and “awake me.” And I apparently did a perfect job–a couple of hours in trance (I think…I never have a good sense of time while I’m under) did as much for me as a nap, and I came up alert and quite chatty.

Until we got back to the hotel room, and She dropped me like a rock again to help me sleep through the night.

(Additional comment to the repost: According to Lady Ru’etha, it wsa about an hour in trance, not two hours. As I say, my time sense goes very wonky when I’m under.)

Reposted: A Home For An Old Story

February 28, 2009

(Technically, re-reposted, as you’ll soon see…)

I actually wrote this the morning after it happened, on February 23rd, 2008; at the time I wrote it, however, I didn’t have this blog, so I posted it in the “Your Personal Experience” thread on the Mind Control Forums. It seemed like a good idea to trawl through the archives of the forum, find this entry, and post it here where it belongs. So, without further ado…

“Tonight was kind of a special night–Lady Ru’etha was flying to Washington, and had about an hour-and-a-half layover in the Twin Cities. Although tranceplay is part of our normal interaction on the phone and over text, this was the first time we’d seen each other face to face in almost a year, and I think both of us were keyed up about all the ways this could go wrong (delayed flight, bad gate assignments, poor weather, missed connections, general disasters.)

“As it turned out, it went perfect. She was walking into Baggage Claim from the terminal just as I was walking in from the street. The first order of business was to get Her some food–She’d gone straight from work to the airport, and there was no meal service on the flight. So we went to the Starbucks in baggage claim. She looked just as adorable as I remembered Her, and as we sat down, I just couldn’t stop looking at Her. She caught me looking for a moment, and when our eyes met, She said, “Careful. Look too long, and you know what’ll happen.” (This will turn out to be Significant.)

“We chatted a bit about life and general geekery while She ate (I lent Her my copy of ‘Full Frontal Nerdity: Big Book of Epic Fail’ to read on the second leg of the trip.) Then we went upstairs to Security (as She’d have to go back through the checkpoints for the second leg), found a relatively quiet place to sit (“quiet” for 8:00 on a Friday night in an airport always being relative), sat down, and She leaned over and gave me a big hug…

“…and whispered, “Down,” in my ear. And I just sagged into Her arms. She told me to go deeper, and that in a moment, I’d be able to sit up and open my eyes, but still stay deeply hypnotized. I did so, and She kept me that way for a while, leaning onto me and talking quietly, reinforcing my conditioning (which She does pretty much every time I’m under, reinforcing that a) obedience is pleasure, b) I love being conditioned (which means that reinforcing my conditioning is, itself, pleasurable because it conditions me further), and c) that She wants me to be happy and fulfilled, so doing things like writing, cleaning, spending time with family, saving money, working hard, and generally being “grown-up” and productive at work and at home are, in and of themselves, ways of obeying…for which, see point A, above.)

“I remember my eyes had a tendency to both focus and drift…that is to say, I’d intensely focus on a particular object for a while, then my eyes would wander to something else and focus on that. While I was under, She wisely recognized that the situation was a bit of a turn-on and told me that I’d be able to “store” my arousal, set it aside and come back to it later. I remember Her talking about how exciting it was that passers-by would see us and just think we were being a little affectionate, not realize that I was deeply hypnotized right in front of them…and it was. But I stored that for later.

“Eventually, She woke me, and we talked a bit more while She stroked the back of my neck…and then She said, “You know, a lot of ‘geek guys’ have a switch on their body, just like a computer…” and She pressed firmly at the base of my neck. “And when I hold it,” she said, and I could just feel myself going into trance… “They switch off. And when I just press it,” and She tapped that same spot, “they switch on.” And I woke up.

“”And just like that, I installed another trigger in you,” She said. “Because You like having triggers…and You like going into trance…wake.” Because as She was saying that, I was drifting back under. (After so many years, I’m pretty deeply conditioned to the sound of Her voice. Listening to a looped mp3 induction every night while I sleep probably doesn’t help, either.)

“We talked a bit more, and it was right around then that I looked Her in the eyes. And my eyes just locked onto Hers, and She said, “Now you’ve done it. You knew this would happen, just like in those old sonnets, like Shakespeare, and Milton said…” (She mentioned other poets, but my brain was a little mushy at that point.) “Eyes, catching and holding you, wrapping you in a spell…and wake.” At this point, I’m pretty sure my brain was pretty mushy even when I was awake, but we talked about the natural subject that came to mind (‘The Shakespeare Code’, from Season Three of the new Doctor Who), and I think it was around then that She decided to test my off-switch again, but it’s a little hazy. Side-effect of going in and out of trance that much that fast, I’ve got a bit of trouble reconstructing the exact sequence of events.

“I know I looked into Her eyes again, and She commanded me to go into an eyes-closed trance that time, and I just sagged against Her again while She whispered in my ear, talking to me about an upcoming trip in June (She’s planning on introducing me to some other hypnotists. She really wants to show me off to people.) It was around then, I think, that She asked if I’d be sitting in the chair that night at work.

“(Aside: Our company bought a massage chair for the employees a few years back; when I wrenched my back at work a few months ago, I made liberal use of it while recuperating. It tended to send me into trance a lot, just from the relaxation, and Lady Ru’etha did a lot to help anchor it. By this point, whenever I press the button to start the massage–which is labeled “Full Program”–I go under, and don’t come out until the program stops.)

“I said yes, and She told me that when I used the chair, it would lock in the trigger She’d installed in me tonight (which it did. Big surprise.) She also told me that before I went to sleep, I would come to this forum and post an account of tonight’s events on this board in this thread (which I am now, of course.) Finally, with Her needing to go back through security again, and me needing to get to work, She woke me fully (taking extra care to do so, since I’d be driving) and we said our goodbyes.

“I’m kind of counting the days until June.”

(Additional comment to the re-repost: She spent months worrying that She’d lost that “Full Frontal Nerdity” book, but finally found it again about a month ago. Yay!)

Reposted: The Hypnosis Panel, Part Two

February 28, 2009

So when I left off at the end of my last post, I’d just come out of a very nice hypnotic trance, and was in the midst of a small but enthusiastic gathering of people interested in hypnosis. We were chatting–not about anything in particular, just talking–and the moderator of the panel did drop a few people every now and then, just to demonstrate a particular point or two, but for the most part it was just fun conversation.

Which was nice and all, but the group trance had really just whetted my appetite for more, and there was a Procyon sound-and-light machine sitting on the table, complete with earbuds. So I asked if I could try it out, and the moderator said, “Sure! Go right ahead!”

For those of you who’ve never seen one of these, it’s basically a little Walkman-type device with a bunch of settings that I, personally, didn’t fiddle with. But in addition to the audio output jack, it’s got another little output jack that plugs into what looks like a pair of wraparound sunglasses…but these glasses have a lighting display on the inside, one that can flash different colors. Wearing the device necessitated removing my own glasses, of course, but that’s generally something I like to do when I’m going to be in trance anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem. I put the earbuds in my ears, put the glasses over my eyes, laid down on the chairs again, and pressed start.

Almost instantly, I closed my eyes. Not because I immediately went under or anything–it’s just that it’s a very bright set of lights, right next to your eyeballs, and you’re really not supposed to try to look at them with your eyes open. The light is bright enough to penetrate straight through your eyelids, forming patterns that seem to be all around you. And since you’ve already got your eyes closed, there’s a sense of disorientation to it–you keep thinking that you want to close your eyes to block out the light, but then you remember that your eyes are already closed. It feels strangely inevitable, and inescapable.

The sounds playing through the earbuds felt very “background” compared to the light; the light was like a jackhammer to my brain, forming patterns that my eyes just seemed to follow all on their own without any conscious effort on my part. They moved from side to side, then pulsed for a while right in between my eyes, then they seemed to form a tunnel that drew my attention deeper into it, then they seemed to approach me, like I was walking towards a solid wall of light…

It was a very intense trance experience for me. The inescapable quality of the whole thing just hit me in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever gotten from a trance without a living person acting as operator. Over the years, my love of reading has made me very good at shutting out sounds I don’t want to pay attention to (along with my dad’s love of country music on long car trips, of course) so hypnosis recordings, while nice, are things I can snap out of relatively easily. But this was omnipresent, blinding, and just so powerful that I pretty much shut down completely.

Even after the program stopped, I was way too deep to wake up right away. I just lay there for I don’t know how long (I think I found out later it was something like forty-five minutes), just blissed out and calm, unable to really muster up the energy to snap myself out of the trance. I recall hearing the moderator ask, “Are the lights still flashing behind those glasses?” Someone responded with a no, and she said, “OK. He seems happy.”

I finally snapped out of it when I heard the moderator wake someone else up (she was demonstrating a different little toy on them.) If I hadn’t heard that, I don’t know how long I would have just lain there. Well, OK, probably just until the moderator came to check on me directly, or until I really needed to pee, but that doesn’t sound too dramatic, now does it?

(Those of you who are also on the Mind Control Forums will notice that this device has already showed up in one of my stories. Some of my other experiences on the panel will be showing up in stories, albeit much more heavily fictionalized.)

Later, I played with the Procyon again, this time while hooking it up to another machine called a Thoughtstream. The Thoughtstream is another Walkman-sized device, and this one has a little strap that goes around your palm and measures (somehow) just how deep in trance you are. Needless to say, I wanted to know just how hard that machine had hammered my brain.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to find out. The discussion was winding down, and the moderator needed to wake me up…and when she tapped my arm, it had absolutely no effect at all. The lights were still there, I was still lost in them, and when she tried to bring me back up, the lights just brought me right back down again. She finally needed to just unplug everything to grab my attention, which erased my “high score”.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening. I learned that I’m still a Doctor Who fan, even under hypnosis; I learned that light and sound machines are a dangerous addiction for me; and I had a fun time being hypnotized. And I hope you had fun reading about it all!

Reposted: The Hypnosis Panel, Part One

February 28, 2009

Suddenly, I’m all prolific here! It’s a miracle!

Just to clarify, the reason I’m being so prolific is that I was hypnotized a lot recently. A lot of this stuff that I’m posting about now happened at a convention I attended last weekend. There was, in fact, a panel there on hypnosis–specifically, one that was a group hypnosis session. I was a little nervous, as that weekend was the first time I’d been hypnotized in anything other than a one-on-one session (about which more later…) but as it turned out, I need not have worried.

The moderator of the panel told everyone to get comfortable, by sitting in the chairs or on the floor or lying across the chairs or across the floor–basically, whatever position felt best to them. If I had to count, I’d say there were about twenty people in the room, maybe twenty-five (the panel was a little bit under-promoted by the con, to put it mildly.) We all shifted position a bit–I decided to stay sitting upright, as the floor in my immediate area was starting to look a little crowded.

Then she told everyone to relax and focus on their breathing. She told people that if they wanted to, they could breathe in a square pattern–breathe in for a count of four, hold it for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four, and pause for a count of four–or they could just relax, and let their breathing find its own rhythm. By this point, I was already finding out how deeply conditioned to go into trance I really was, because I already had my eyes closed by this point and was feeling that light, floaty feeling in my head that’s one of the big indicators of hypnosis.

I’ll admit that I actually have some difficulty remembering her specific words as she deepened everyone’s trance–which is actually kind of surprising to me, as hypnotic amnesia isn’t normal for me. (Or, at least, it wasn’t originally…I’m finding that after listening to my Lady’s Voice all night every night, telling me it’s all right to forget to remember and remember to forget, I’ve become a lot more willing to let things slide into a warm, white fog in the back of my head while I’m under.) I remember she had a very sweet, soothing voice, and that she used multiple countdowns to deepen us…counting down to zero, deepening us with phrases, then counting down again. She also did something kind of neat where she told us that she was going to snap her fingers, but that each snap would deepen us instead of waking us up, and then she did more deepeners while snapping her fingers. At some point, she told us that we could shift position to get comfortable, and still stay in that warm, soft place, but I’m pretty sure I’d slumped sideways and lain across the chairs even before she said that.

I say “us”, but honestly, it didn’t really feel like “us”. I was, on some level, dimly aware that there were other people in the room, but on the emotional level, group trance felt (to me, at least) like the other people just melted away into the background, leaving me and the hypnotist. I think I understand how stage hypnosis works now…if the moderator had asked me to do something, I probably would have done it because I really did feel like I was alone with her in all the senses that mattered. But, of course, it wasn’t that kind of panel.

After a while (I’d given her my watch at the start of the panel, because she didn’t have one and I wasn’t going to have my eyes open to look at one anyway), she had us imagine a “safe place” inside our heads, somewhere we could go when we got stressed out or frustrated. She told us to imagine the doorway to the safe place, make it real inside our minds, picture its color, its style, its texture. For a second, I had no idea what it might look like…and then, like a true geek, I pictured the TARDIS doors in my head, and that just resolved itself perfectly. (I’m a life-long Doctor Who fan, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. And the TARDIS has always been a “safe place” in the series; as the Doctor once said, “The assembled hordes of Ghengis Khan couldn’t get through that door, and believe me, they’ve tried.”)

And sure enough, when she told us to step through that door into our safe place, I found myself in the console room, circa Peter Davison’s era. (In fact, for total geeks, it was the console room from “The Five Doctors”, complete with the wicker chairs that the First Doctor had tea in.) I could hear that soft, gentle hum all around me, I could see the bright, warm light…occasionally, my mind would let it flicker into other console room designs (the new series’ design, the McGann TV movie design, the secondary console room from Tom Baker’s era…) but for the most part, it stayed as Davison’s console room. It seemed very appropriate that the safe place in my heart was bigger on the inside.

(And as an aside, my Lady has also used Doctor Who imagery in brainwashing me. She’s had me picture a “programming room”, a place deep inside my mind where my core thoughts are kept, where anything She alters actually alters my mind at its fundamental level, and She modeled the imagery of that room on the Zero Room from ‘Castrovalva’. It occurred to me on my return from the con that if the Zero Room is inside the TARDIS, then that means I’ve actually let Her into that safe space to reprogram my thoughts. There’s something almost frighteningly hot about that.)

We stayed in that safe space for a while, and the moderator talked about finding habits that we might want to let go of, things we wanted to achieve with hypnosis…she said later that she didn’t want to get too therapeutic in a group session, because it’s not always that easy to get rid of bad habits with hypnosis, and she didn’t want to touch off anything she wouldn’t be there to deal with later on. (Wise woman.) Eventually, she told us it was time to come back up, and that she’d count from one to five, and that on five we would awaken…and that she’d then return us to this warm, happy place by counting back down from five to one. She counted up to five…and bam! Back up.

We never did get around to counting back down. By the time everyone had stretched their legs and gone to the bathroom (we’d been under for a solid hour, even though it only felt like maybe ten minutes) the discussion had broken up into smaller groups, and become much less formal. Which is how I wound up trying out the light and sound machine…but that’s for next time.

Reposted: I’m Easy To Hypnotize

February 28, 2009

Been a little quiet lately, what with one thing and another, so I haven’t posted here much, but this last weekend has definitely been a ton of fun. So I’ve got a few more stories to share.

This one is short, but very very sweet. I was in the food court with my Lady and a few other people, all waiting for someone else to show up from the airport. (I’m being deliberately vague about the details of where and under what circumstances, naturally.) The “someone else” in question was taking a while, due to the infamous Circumstances Beyond His Control, and the other people would wander away from the table at times to go check out stores, eat food, et cetera et cetera. I stayed because, as mentioned, I’m in a long distance relationship with my Lady, and being in the same place with her is a rare luxury.

At one point during the wait, She took out a pendulum, and started playing with it. But She made sure to hold it behind Her hand while She dangled it–because, as She made sure to mention to me, She knew that I was so susceptible to hypnosis that as soon as I saw the actual crystal at the end of the chain, I’d go under, and She didn’t want that.

Now, of course, I knew perfectly well in my conscious mind that this was, in and of itself, an induction of sorts–She was suggesting again and again that I would go into trance when I saw the crystal, making sure the idea was fixed firmly in my head before actually showing it to me. But that didn’t stop me from getting little fuzzy shivers in my brain every time I got a glimpse of the crystal between Her fingers, or getting a big silly grin on my face the whole time we sat there.

But as I say, there were always other people there, in some quantity. She was really just teasing. We were in a public place, in a noisy crowd in the middle of the day. It’d be pretty hard to even go into hypnosis under those conditions, right?

I think you, Gentle Reader, already know the answer to that one. Because as soon as She got the chance, as soon as She had a few minutes where we were the only two people sitting at the table, She dropped the pendulum into the open palm of my hand. “Here,” She said, “Play with that.”

She told me later She was expecting me to swing the pendulum, dangle it from my fingers and go into trance as I watched it sway. Instead, I didn’t even manage to move my hand. The crystal just caught my eye, just like She said it would. I was just drawn to it, following the veins of darker purple in the smooth pink crystal, tracing the facets with my eyes, just totally lost and sinking deeper with every moment. I don’t know how long I stared at the crystal before my eyes slipped shut (it probably wasn’t long, but it seemed strangely timeless), but soon I was just sitting there, eyes shut and deeply hypnotized in the middle of a public place.

It didn’t last long, of course. Too many people to have any real fun. She deepened me a bit, then woke me up and hid the pendulum where it wouldn’t entrance me again. But it was a nice experience, and it served to remind me that when it comes to my Lady, I have no resistance at all.

Reposted: Happy Little Things

February 28, 2009

Something I noticed last night, although it’s not exactly new: I don’t need hypnosis to go into trance for my Lady anymore. She’s not using an induction, or even a trigger phrase–I’m familiar enough and comfortable enough with Her by now that I can tell, just from the sound of Her voice, when She wants me to be hypnotized, and I go into trance from that understanding alone without needing any kind of formal induction.

I’m not sure when exactly it happened, although I suspect that there was a particular session that contributed mightily to the phenomenon (She was snapping me in and out of trance again and again and again, asking me if I was hypnotized over and over until I wasn’t even sure what the answer was anymore, until just the question “Are you in trance?” sent me into trance. It was a long, powerful, and deeply enjoyable experience. But, um, I digress…) As I say, I don’t know when it happened, but I know it has. There’s something really wonderful about that level of rapport with another person, that degree of intimacy so total that it almost borders on telepathy.

I’m really glad I share that with Her.

(Not, y’know, to be sappy or anything…)

Reposted: My Theory (ahe-ahem!)

February 28, 2009

No, no, it’s not about the brontosaurus. It’s about the “third eye”.

Lots of cultures and religions have the notion of the third eye, a spot on the forehead between the two eyes that we can see, responsible for all sorts of spiritual energies and mystical beliefs. It’s common to Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, and all sorts of “New Age” teachings. It represents enlightenment, meditation, really all sorts of things.

I found myself thinking about it back in 2001, when I was sitting in a hallway in Atlanta. More specifically, in a hallway in a hotel at DragonCon in Atlanta, in a secluded part of the hotel late at night, staring very deeply into the eyes of my Lady. She was trancing me (as part of an absolutely wonderful evening, really the first time we’d ever been alone together), and my thoughts were tending to drift a lot, like they do when you’re under hypnosis, and I was, as I say, staring very deeply into Her eyes, but it was very hard to focus. I was just staring very blankly, very glassily, into Her eyes.

And there were three of them. The two in their normal positions, and a third, right in the center of Her forehead.

Now I’m not about to say that She manifested Her third eye and used it to control my mind, or anything like that. (As awesome as that might be.) No, I know what happened, and I knew even at the time, even under hypnosis. I had gone deep enough into trance that my eyes had become unfocused, and I wasn’t getting a true stereoscopic picture; my left eye was seeing her right eye in a slightly different place than my right eye was, and vice versa. Which created, for a while, the perfect optical illusion of a third eye, mid-way between the other two.

And if occurred to me, even at the time in my rather drifting, hazy, unfocused way, that this might be some of the basis for the idea of a “third eye”. Many mystic traditions involve going into states of trance, even if they aren’t necessarily recognized as hypnosis; could it be that people who were focused deeply and intently on their gurus would see that effect, and believe it to be a physical phenomenon? (Or, at the very least, a useful metaphor to describe the profound spiritual experience they’d undergone. I know I felt like I was undergoing a profound spiritual experience that night.)

I don’t know. Maybe it’s crazy gibberish, but it’s a neat thing to try. Gaze deeply into someone’s eyes, let your own go unfocused, and see if you can’t see that “third eye”. (But, um, make sure it’s with someone you’re comfortable going into trance for. Because you might be looking for a third eye on their forehead, but you’ve probably just painted a big bullseye on your own.)

Reposted: Math Is Fun!

February 28, 2009

So my Lady has me listening to a hypnosis .mp3 while I sleep. It’s an induction, followed by a number of suggestions that I can really only describe in the vaguest of terms, because one of the suggestions is to forget what’s on the .mp3. I have a vague memory of it deepening responsiveness to Her voice, and one to want to keep listening to the .mp3, and I know it’s installed an all-purpose “do what I say” trigger because She’s used it on me. After all the conditioning, post-hyps, and implanting of triggers, there’s an awakening at the end. Pretty much what you’d expect from a hypnosis .mp3 in a serious D/s relationship, as far as I can remember. (He says ominously. 🙂 )

It’s 50 minutes long. This means that over the course of a full night’s sleep, I probably listen to it ten times. (10 x 50 = 500, 500 / 60 = 8 and a bit. I usually wake up straight into trance while listening to it, and let it play until it reaches the end of a cycle and then wake up to the awakening.)

Today is April 8th. Since I haven’t been to bed yet (I work nights), there are 23 days left in April. Then a further 30 in May, and another six in June before I’m finally in realspace with my Lady again. That’s a total of fifty-nine times I will go to bed between now and the next time I’m in the same room with Her. Every single one of those times, I’m listening to the .mp3 ten times. Meaning that by the time She next sees me, my sleeping mind will have been imprinted with the instructions approximately 590 times.

My trip to Chicago in June is going to be interesting.

(Additional comment to the reposting: It was. **grin**)