My Time As a Robot

So yesterday morning, Lady Ru’etha asked me, “So why haven’t you listened to my CDs yet?”

Somewhat surprised, I said, “I have listened to ‘Mountain Lake’. As to the other two, well, I’m just not into the furry kink or the robotisation kink.”

She responded, “But a lot of the time, you don’t really know what you’re into until I tell you.”

I thought about it for a moment. The fact of the matter is, although I’m generally hypnokinky, I have to admit that my other big fetish took ages and ages for us to figure out. It always seemed like I’d be into so many different kinks, sometimes ones that even surprised me, but then later on I’d almost completely lose interest in something that was a major turn-on for me in a previous relationship. Finally, it clicked–I have an “enablement fetish”. I get off on the energy my Domme gives off when She’s indulging in one of Her fantasies. In other words, I actually don’t know what I’m into until my Domme tells me. 🙂

So after admitting as much, I cracked open my copy of Lady Ru’etha’s “Robotic Transformation 1.01” and put it in the CD player. I also took a moment to put on the light and sound machine She’d lent me back in February–after all, I was apparently being robotised, so it seemed appropriate to use a little technological assistance in inducing trance. I pressed play on the CD, hit start on the Procyon, and I was off!

Obviously, this isn’t going to be a review of the CD; I doubt I’ve got much credibility as an unbiased reviewer when it comes to my Lady’s products (although when you think about it, if you believe that I’m so brainwashed that I’ll say and think that anything Lady Ru’etha puts out is brilliant, that’s a pretty good endorsement of Her hypnosis products in and of itself.) But I do want to talk a bit about the experience.

It started with “Safe Space”, which begins the CD. Oddly enough, despite this being one of Her “starter” inductions, I’d never actually heard it before–She has me listen to “Voice” most of the time, instead. (“Voice” is considerably more intense than “Safe Space”, with amnesia suggestions and permanent triggers. I think She picked it over “Safe Space” because we’d already been trance-playing for quite some time before I listened to any of Her mp3s.) But there’s enough of an overlap, and I’m familiar enough with Her style and general imagery that I was able to go under very quickly and easily, and absorb the suggestions just as quickly and easily.

In theory, you’re supposed to wake up between the two tracks–She does bring the listener up out of trance at the end of “Safe Space”, before reinducing at the start of “Robotic Transformation”. (This way, once you’re fully conditioned to “Safe Space”, you can just skip it and get straight to the main event.) But in my case, I’m a) very used to ignoring the command to wake on Her recorded inductions, since I loop them while I sleep, and b) wearing a light and sound machine that is absolutely jackhammering at my brain at the time I heard the command to come out of trance.  So I just drifted straight along into the next section without ever really waking up.

The “Robotic Transformation” induction deserves special mention here, because it does some absolutely amazing things with multiple audio inputs that dropped me hard, even by my usual standards as a total cream-puff when it comes to resisting hypnosis. 🙂 Lady Ru’etha does a long, slow, wonderful countdown from twenty to one, but in the background, you can just barely hear Her voice doing two looping ten-count inductions at a slightly quicker pace. So the overall effect is that you really quickly get confused as to exactly what number you’ve dropped down to, and that confusion makes you feel like you must have gone deeper into hypnosis because it’s hard to remember the numbers, and the second you believe you’ve gone deeper, you have, and before you know it your brain has pretty much just shut down completely. (Or at least, mine did.)

The actual “transformation” was interesting to me because it integrated so well with my other hypnotic suggestions–after all, Lady Ru’etha has been programming me literally for years with the “Obedience is pleasure” mantra, and so this felt very comfortable to me. She’s used many metaphors over the years to help my brain accept my brainwashing, and so the idea of programming my mind like a computer just fit right in. (And the imagery of the sequence, as She described me sitting in a programming chair that massaged me even as it brainwashed me, fit in with my real-life experiences in ways that make me suspect I enjoyed this one more than anyone else who listened to it. 🙂 )

It was a very enjoyable experience (just how enjoyable, I’ll leave up to your imagination, wink wink nudge nudge) but as with all good things, eventually it ended and She brought me back up. Except that, um, I was still wearing the light and sound machine. Have I mentioned just how dangerously susceptible I am to those things? Seriously, it’s kind of scary just how hard they hit me. Even as I received a direct command to wake in my ears, my eyes were following an inescapable, overwhelming, unending induction that sand-blasted my resistance away. I just lay there, unable to even muster up the mental energy to reach six inches over and press the stop button on the machine before the program finally ended on its own. I’m not sure how long the machine ran after the CD ended, because my time sense was utterly wonky and I couldn’t look at a clock while my eyes were covered with brainwashing goggles. But it felt like I drifted in the endless waves of light for a very long time.

Of course, I suspect my sneaky subconscious fully knew the program would end all on its own, and it didn’t want to let even a second of enjoyable trance slip away from me. So it just convinced me that I was helpless to stop the machine, because it knew I’d be perfectly safe to let the machine stop itself. Even so, I’m damn glad that thing doesn’t have an “auto-repeat” setting. It’s not something I want to put to the test.

So I think that Lady Ru’etha will be quite satisfied with the things She’s done to my brain tonight, even if She won’t find out about them until She wakes up and reads this entry. Next time, I’ll find out whether or not the “Kittenfur” CD works just as well. I can’t say I’ve ever had much interest in being a cat, but then again, I don’t really know what I’m into until She tells me.

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One Response to “My Time As a Robot”

  1. virtual visitor Says:

    Amazing stuff, but we’d like to hear more about How You Felt as a robot, etc etc.


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