Archive for October, 2009

Out-Of-Context Follies!

October 28, 2009

The Onion AV Club gets into the hypno-kink fetish:


“Staring: It’s the great human pastime. There’s nothing like a good long stare at a wall, or computer screen, or darkened window to really get the mind nice and empty. Well, emptier. It’s the perfect way to sink into the vast nothingness that is forever lapping at the tiny shore of our miniscule existence. Just open your eyes and…stare. ”


Oh, go on. Tell me that didn’t make you squirm, just a little. 🙂


(Actual context here.)

By Her Command

October 18, 2009

Um. 🙂

OK, so remember my comments about hypnosis and how it works? Yes, this is first-hand evidence of it. I didn’t intend to blog today, and I don’t really know what I’m blogging about…but I just got off the phone with Lady Ru’etha, and She gave me a very specific post-hypnotic command to post something here while She naps.

So I suppose I can post about that; I’m a little fuzzy on events, but I know She took me very deep and did some very heavy conditioning. I can recall that She programmed me in preparation for my upcoming visit, but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll remember that. I’m getting better at forgetting things I think She wants me to forget. But while I still remember it, I’ll mention that She programmed me to believe I can resist Her hypnosis, but only on a waking level. Deep down, all the conditioning that She’s put into my head over the years that make it absolutely impossible for me to resist Her hypnotic inductions will still be there, and the harder I fight, the harder it will be to fight until my resistance breaks and I submit to Her will completely.

And of course, a) my brain resolved the “remember or not” conundrum by going into a light trance for most of that paragraph (because when I’m in trance, of course I can remember the things I’m only supposed to remember in trance…) And b) by typing it out like that, I’m reinforcing the program by repeating it to myself, thus cementing it all the deeper into my subconscious. So there you go, actual hypnotic brainwashing, liveblogged for your convenience. 🙂

Sexism and Kink

October 15, 2009

That’s the weird thing about three-day weekends; they always seem to make you a day late in doing other things. Your Tuesday feels like a Monday, so your Wednesday feels like a Tuesday, so you wind up posting your blog entry a day late. 🙂 My apologies to all my readers.

So today, I’m going to tangent a bit–this blog mostly discusses hypnosis, with an implied understanding that we are actually discussing “erotic hypnosis”. But I’m actually going to focus on the sex part today. Unfortunately, it’s not in one of those “ooh, sexy hot secrets from my personal life” sort of way. I’m going to take the time to rant a bit about sexism and BDSM.

For a lot of people, this rates a sort of automatic, “Well, duh!” Many people (and many feminists) feel like any BDSM relationship in which the man is the dominant and the woman is the submissive is automatically a sexist relationship, just like the sky is blue and the grass is green. It’s not even hard to understand their logic; we’re just now coming out of a seemingly-endless period in history where women heard from every conceivable source that their role was to submit to the male authority in every area of their lives, and it took a lot of time, energy and effort to break free of that indoctrination (which is not the same as hypnosis, a topic I might discuss someday.) And it’s by no means a completed process. (Just ask Phyllis Schlafly.) So when some people see a woman in a subservient relationship to a man, it is natural to think of that as sexist.

But the kink community is all about (and I know some people are going to wince at hearing these words, because they are so overused, but bear with me) power exchanges. BDSM is about voluntarily giving your power to someone else, letting them enjoy the rush of dominance while you enjoy the rush of submission. Those are both enjoyable feelings, and both fun roles to take. There really is nothing wrong with wanting to take either role, because it is a voluntary submission. Any good scene, and any good BDSM relationship, has at its base the knowledge that the bottom can take that power back whenever they want, but are choosing not to. (And the very best scenes come along when the bottom lets that knowledge slide far enough to the back of their head that they only remember it if they absolutely have to, which is part of what makes hypnosis so much fun in BDSM play.)

It’s that word, “voluntary”, that is key here. “Voluntary” means that the submissive only gives up power under the conditions they’ve determined, at the times and in the places they’ve decided. They set the boundaries for their submission. Maybe that’s only submitting when wearing a collar, maybe it’s only in the bedroom, maybe it’s 24/7 lifestyle submission. But it’s their decision and their boundary. They might lose all their power within those boundaries, but they never lose the power to set them.

That’s the difference between submission and sexism in the world of BDSM–when someone else decides that they have the right to set your boundaries, that’s sexist. Saying, “You did that for your last boyfriend, you should do it for me,” or “You did that last week, you should do it again this week,” or “You submitted to me in the bedroom last night, that means I’m in charge and you should let me decide whether or not you keep your job” or even, “You hypnotize some people for free, that means I should get a freebie because I don’t want to pay for it” (to cite a particular pet peeve of many hypnodommes…) All of these are ways of trying to take the power that the submissive has the right to keep for herself. That’s sexist.

Or, to give the example that originally prompted this line of thinking, Valerie D’Orazio posted on her blog a while back about a comic book convention with a “Slave Leia Photoshoot”, where lots of women dressed up as Leia in her metal bikini from “Return of the Jedi”. D’Orazio said, “No matter how many times the girlfriend says that this was completely her own decision and that her man, standing beside her in a Han Solo outfit or trucker’s hat, had absolutely nothing to do with it, I just didn’t buy it.”

Which prompts another question: By refusing to accept that another woman could set her own boundaries, enjoy sexual behavior (in this case exhibitionism rather than actual BDSM) and still be an independent feminist, isn’t D’Orazio trying to set boundaries for them? And is that a form of sexism in and of itself? Saying, “I wouldn’t do that, so you can’t” could be seen as just as sexist as saying, “I want you to do that, you you must.”

(Although, in the interest of fairness and accuracy, I should point out that D’Orazio might very well be right, too. If, in fact, the boyfriend was pressuring his girlfriend to dress like this, he was taking away her right to set her own rules for when she displayed her body, and that’s clearly sexist by my own definition. I’m just pointing out that in any situation involving sexuality, particularly sexual kinks, it’s not ever going to be as simple as “sexy=sexist”, and that in fact, a lot of the people trying to banish women’s sexuality are doing so in order to control it…and nobody but the woman in question has the right to do that. Just to make things clear, in case Valerie D’Orazio should happen to visit the site and worry that I’m slamming on her. 🙂 )

The Risks of Hypnosis

October 7, 2009

Just how powerful is hypnosis, you might ask? Well, that’s the tricky thing about it. Hypnosis doesn’t actually seem that powerful. It’s very easy to convince yourself that you’re not doing this because you’re hypnotized. No, sir (or madam.) No, you just have all sorts of very good reasons for doing whatever it is you’ve been hypnotized to do that just happen to coincide with the fact that you’ve been hypnotized, and those excellent reasons…reasons that might seem a little frivolous to others, but which you know to be vitally important…are the real reasons why. Which, of course, means that hypnosis is very powerful indeed, because it’s so subtle. A cautionary tale follows. 🙂

Last Saturday night, Lady Ru’etha hypnotized me, and gave me an assignment; She told me to pick up a few things for my upcoming visit in November. (Perfectly ordinary, unassuming things, of course! Certainly not sex toys! No, they were, um…gardening tools. For working in the garden. In November.)

Again, this is Saturday night, October 3rd. For a trip I’ll be taking November 3rd. I have a full month to run this little errand and complete my assignment. But, of course, I don’t want to forget (I tell myself). After all, it’s going to be a busy month, and I’d feel just terrible if I got onto that plane and didn’t have those gardening tools with me. Even though there are plenty of garden centers where Lady Ru’etha lives. (We’ve browsed for rakes a few times together.) So I get up at eleven o’clock in the morning so that I can get the errand done and get home in time to watch the football game.

Problem: The local garden center isn’t open until noon. There’s a twenty-four hour garden center, but it’s all the way across town (we have a lot of horticultural enthusiasts around here), and I’m not going to have time to get to it before the game starts. So, reluctantly, I go back home and take some time to enjoy watching the Patriots/Ravens game. (I also take some time to watch the Bears/Lions game.)

As soon as the game is over, though, I’m right back on the road to the garden center. Keep in mind, I woke up at eleven AM when my usual waking time is about 6 PM. I work Sunday night. And I’ve got a whole month to get this done. But of course, for reasons entirely unrelated to the fact that I’m following a post-hypnotic suggestion, this is really urgent and I need to get it done now. 🙂

I get to the garden center, and there’s a problem. While they’ve got the rakes I’m looking for, they don’t seem to have any spades at all. And I was really looking forward to having a nice spade, and to Lady Ru’etha teaching me exactly how to use it. (And again, I’m certainly not following a post-hypnotic suggestion.) So, with a grimace, I decide to go all the way across town to the other garden center. (There are actually a lot of garden centers around here; I just don’t know where they all are. I generally don’t use a lot of tools, not when there’s so much you can do by hand.) (Yes, I’m having way too much fun with this metaphor.)

So when I get to downtown, I suddenly remember that there is a very major, very important baseball game today. And it’s just getting out as I hit downtown traffic. Do I decide to give up? Of course not. I’ve already gotten this far, and it seems like such a waste to give up now, and I’d just have to come back out here anyway, and I’m certainly not following a post-hypnotic suggestion! So I fight my way through the traffic, get to the garden center, buy the tools, and fight my way back home to catch three hours of sleep before work. (And get a very sweet apology from Lady Ru’etha, who felt very bad about not specifying a timeframe for the assignment. 🙂 )

So the big risk of hypnosis, ladies and gentlemen? It works. Keep that in mind before making any suggestions. Thank you, and good night.