Archive for December, 2009

Earworms

December 30, 2009

Sorry, but I’ve had this stuck in my head for weeks now, and I just need to get it out.

With apologies to Katy Perry…

You gotta help me out

It’s all a blur last night

We shared a taxi and I wound up following you

I lost my memory, you took my motel key

You had the most seducing looks

You enslaved me

I kind of tranced out

And wound up sinking deep down

Mind’s blank and empty

Remember what you told me

“Shut up and put my pussy where your mouth is

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave

Soon you’ll be forced to helplessly obey me

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave”

Why are these lights so bright?

Why are my nipples tight?

Dressed up in latex, why am I wearing a collar?

Can’t call for help now

My deep self wants to obey

Mind’s blank and empty

Remember what you told me

“Shut up and put my pussy where your mouth is

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave

Soon you’ll be forced to helplessly obey me

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave”

You got me into this

Total mental overload, horny and I lost control

Can’t send an S.O.S.

Can’t get the words out

I try to fight, I slip down

My mind is so empty

Remember what you told me

Remember what you told me

Remember what you told me, told me, told me…

“Shut up and put my pussy where your mouth is

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave

Soon you’ll be forced to helplessly obey me

That’s what you get for waking up my sex slave”

“That’s what you get, baby

Pendant glitters, watch, watch, watch the glitter

You know you must obey me

You know you must obey me”

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My Ideal MP3

December 28, 2009

So Lady Ru’etha asked me a bit ago, “What would your ideal MP3 be?” (Specifically, She commanded me to blog about it. Which I refused to do, of course. 🙂 ) It’s an interesting question. In some ways, the simple answer would be “Voice”. It’s very nice–seductive enough to be erotic, but not so much that you can’t just listen to it to relax. There’s programming in it, which is a major hot button of mine, but nothing unethical or dangerous, which is pretty much guaranteed to throw me out of any induction file. (Not to name any names, but there are some hypnodommes out there that I can’t really go deep to even though they have a nice technique, because I feel like I have to keep one ear open for their suggestions.)

But I’ll assume that for purposes of this question, She’s asking “What scenario would be something you want in an MP3?” (I’m also hoping She’ll gracefully accept the compliment in the previous paragraph.) I have to admit, I’m not sure. I generally enjoy MP3s more when they’re about programming and control over fantasy scenarios (which isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy fantasy scenarios, just that I think my favorite fantasy is me, being brainwashed by a sexy hypnodomme. 🙂 ) So it’d involve programming. But programming for what?

As I say, “Voice” covers so many of the yummiest programming areas, and Her other MP3s cover many of the rest. (At this point, I’ll point to the linkroll at the top of the page, and remind you gently that She sells “Voice” and lots of other fun hypnosis CDs and MP3s, because I love the thought of enticing people to listen to Her hypnotic voice…) Hmm…I’d almost say a “Serial Recruitment” file, one that programs you to want to get others to listen to Her, but I know that She’d never record that one. It’s not ethical.

I think that probably, looking at what She’s recorded already and what She’s got coming up, my ideal “wishlist” MP3 would be one that focuses on freeze-play. Something that involves heavy programming, submission, and that wondrous feeling of helplessness that comes from being unable to move or even think. And of course, it does go without saying that my ideal MP3 would be one recorded by Lady Ru’etha. 🙂

Behind the Music: Say It

December 23, 2009

And so once again, I pick up the irregular “Behind the Music” feature, which tells stories about how my real-life hypnosis experiences (which are what this blog is about) led me to write some of my stories (which are probably what led you here.) Today, we’re looking at “Say It”, which was a story I posted in November of 2008 (although, as with many of my stories, it was written much earlier. I think I wrote this one in mid-February of that same year.)

As with many of my stories, I kind of have to disappoint my readers and say that none of this happened…exactly. You’ve probably guessed from reading the story that Mark and Judy are myself and Lady Ru’etha, respectively, but we never had an experience like this, on a cruise or anywhere else. But Lady Ru’etha did meet a very nice couple at a hypnosis convention the weekend I wrote this, and She shared an interesting story with me about their meeting. (Which is, naturally, Hers to share or keep quiet, as She wishes.) She then dropped me into trance, and guided me through a fantasy of some of the things that might have happened, if I had been there and things had developed a certain way and we had wound up enjoying ourselves along the lines of…well, along the lines of this story. Then She had to go (She was still at the convention, and it was a very busy weekend for Her) and left me to float for a bit and enjoy the fantasy (while chanting the exact same mantra that wound up in the story) until my alarm went off.

When I woke up, I wrote this story. It isn’t one of my better ones, I think…it’s a little too eager to get to the fun, mainly because by the time I wrote it, so was I. 🙂 But it is a notable first; I’d used a lot of words to describe hypnotized sex toys, but this is the first time I ever felt a strong enough connection to the character in the story that I actually described a character with the word “tranceslut”. That’s a pet name Lady Ru’etha uses for me when I’m under, and up until then it had felt too personal to share…but when I was typing out that mantra, it felt like it needed to be the exact same one I’d been repeating for the last hour. So I used it…and had a very hard time stopping my fingers when I got to the end of the story. 🙂

“Past, Present and Future” Now Available For Purchase!

December 17, 2009

That’s right, folks, just in time for Christmas (well, perhaps in time to use your Christmas money on a print-on-demand edition, but easily in time for Christmas if you purchase the super-affordable downloadable ebook edition), I provide you with another short story collection! As the title, “Past, Present and Future” suggests, this has a variety of tales from fantasy stories of long ago to science-fiction stories of the distant future, and everything in between!

As with my other chronological collections (this is the seventh, for those of you keeping track–I’ll be going back later to hit the ones I missed) I got Sue-Chan to do a lovely cover, and Lady Ru’etha to introduce me in perfect style (give both of them lots of thanks, please, I can’t say enough how much I appreciate their efforts!) It also features commentary on the creation of each story, for those of you who want to know why I write what I write.

And what do I write? Read on!

(more…)

Paths To Trance

December 13, 2009

Sometimes, there are experiences that I’m not sure I should share on this blog. Ultimately, it is a blog for sharing my experiences with hypnosis and trance in order to explain them to people who might be curious, not a memoir of my sex life (for the people who want to read that, I’ve got 117 stories, many of which are just like my real life but with all the boring bits taken out.) In general, I err on the side of silence…but Lady Ru’etha thinks that this is a story worth telling here because it really does teach something about trance. So all I ask is that you just mentally imagine the both of us as clothed when She pours the hot wax on me. 🙂

Because while you might not think about waxplay (or, in fact, any kind of intense sensation play) as a hypnotic induction, there are certain similarities. Basically, what’s going on is that your body feels a little pain (people who’ve never undergone BDSM play always look at it and say, “That’s a little?” But it really is a lot more fun than it looks…) Your body doesn’t realize what your mind does, though, which is that you’re perfectly safe and you’re not doing anything to your body that won’t feel just fine in a few hours (or maybe a day or two, in the case of some extremely…vigorous play.) So it starts pumping endorphins–natural pain-killers–into your system. If your top does it right, the endorphin release should always be well ahead of the curve of the actual level of sensation you’re feeling, so by the time the play does get…vigorous…you’re feeling nothing but a total, dopey, stoned bliss all over. In other words, you’re deeply relaxed, and focused on the sensations you’re getting from your top to the exclusion of everything else. Sound familiar?

In my case, my body was the one saying, “A little?” I’m extremely heat-sensitive, and even though Lady Ru’etha was using a wax with a very low melting point and keeping away from sensitive areas at first, I still flinched every time the wax splashed onto my skin. It was right on the very edge of “too hot!” as it landed, every single time. But in a lot of ways, that was where it needed to be; it wasn’t so hot that it burned (I wound up with absolutely no marks anywhere on my body from the hot wax) but it was hot enough that my body was convinced that it needed to release lots of endorphins.

And it did. I honestly could not tell you how long the session lasted, I have only the vaguest memories of what Lady Ru’etha said to me while She was dribbling the wax on me…all of the absolute classic symptoms of a very deep hypnotic trance, I exhibited without ever having a formal induction. The session of intense sensation had taken me to a point called “subspace” by BDSM enthusiasts, where you’re completely and totally into the experience to the point where you want to do anything the top says. And having gotten to that same point from many paths, I can say that it is a form of trance. Perhaps not one that formal therapy can use, but… 🙂

By the end, I was blissed-out, spacey, and very eager and willing to let Her pour wax onto places that I thought would be way too sensitive to enjoy…and they weren’t. Once the endorphins had ramped up enough, the pleasure just swamped out any pain I might have felt. (I try not to get too evangelical on this blog, figuring that you’ll read about my experiences and either want to try them or not, but honestly, bottoming to a good top in a BDSM scene is an experience that you really need to try before you can understand it. Yes, it looks painful. Probably terrifyingly so. But when it’s happening to you, it’s a kind of sublime bliss that defies words. It is worth getting up the nerve to try, at least once.)

The only thing? If you’re doing waxplay, do what we did, and put down a cheap shower curtain. It’s worth the cost not to have to clean wax out of your carpet.

MST3K Vs. Hypnosis, Volume Two

December 9, 2009

Sorry if I’m jumping way ahead (from early Season One Mystery Science Theater 3000 to early Season Five) but it just came out on DVD, so you might be thinking about walking into your Best Buy and picking this up.

The latest volume (XVI) of Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVDs from Shout Factory features an obscure little 80s post-apocalyptic movie called “Warrior of the Lost World”, which has some great ideas but has the kind of execution that inevitably results in a movie being watched by puppets. In specific, this particular post-apocalyptic world is run by the late, great Donald Pleasance, using…yep, you guessed it, mind control.

Pleasance’s dystopian utopia seems to be accomplished through a mixture of a big brainwashing table, on which he zaps the free will out of his subjects, and a regimen of drugs and endless reinforcement over the loudspeaker. (For some reason, his brainwashed subjects watch an S & M version of Cirque du Soleil while taking their reinforcing drugs. It’s all a little bit weird.) For those of you who are into that sort of thing (I know, surely not anyone who reads this blog!) there’s a scene where Pleasance straps Star Trek star Persis Khambatta to the table and zaps her until she’s staring vacantly into space with a blank expression on her face. (Which is yummy, although I think I’m the only person in the world who thinks she’s sexier bald.)

After that, there’s lots more of other characters doing other things, but you do get a scene right near the end where Pleasance tries to make the brainwashed Khambatta shoot the heroes. Which just goes to prove the single most important point about evil megalomaniacs in action movies: They’re all morons. Forget about the resistance movement, Donald! Just pick a half-dozen favorites, find a nice spot in the countryside, and retire with them! 🙂

Obviously, the mind control in this film is entirely fake, and bears no similarities to anything you could do with hypnosis. It doesn’t even call itself hypnosis. But on the other hand, it’s a fun, goofy movie with a lot of good riffing, and yes, you get to see Persis Khambatta get turned into a blank-eyed slave. If that ain’t worth your time and money, I don’t know what is.

The Rewards of Writing

December 2, 2009

Lady Ru’etha commented to me this morning over the phone that I should respond to comments on my blog more often. And I don’t doubt that She’s right (boy, is that an overused phrase around here…) It’s just that I’m never quite sure what to say. “Thank you!” seems both so obvious as to forbear saying, while at the same time always seeming so trite as to be almost insulting. (And I always worry that it will sound less sincere with every repetition, despite being deep and heart-felt every time.)

So instead, I’m writing about what it means to get comments. Your comments, specifically. (This is an old writerly trick to get you feeling personally involved in the story I’m telling, here. I’m hoping it will work anyway.) What does it mean to hear from a reader?

Everything. Everything in the world. Writing is an act of desperation in some ways, taking a piece of your soul and giving it to someone else. (And I mean that in the literal sense. I think of my writing as an attempt to share with others what it means to think like I do, and if there’s a better description for the soul than that, I don’t know it.) And the only reward for that act that’s worth having is the knowledge that another person accepted that piece of your soul into themselves. Whether it’s something deep and meaningful, like “True Colors” (probably my magnum opus as far as my short stories are concerned) or something light and silly like this blog, it still matters just as deeply. We writers want to get paid for our writing (as witnessed by my selling my books, shameless plug shameless plug) but that’s just because we can’t eat praise. Actual feedback trumps money every day.

And the fact that it’s erotica makes the act of giving feedback all the more precious, because I know that it takes an act of courage to admit to liking stories involving not just sex, but sex that involves a deeply personal fetish like mind control. (My original comment on the subject went something like, “Telling Neil Gaiman you like his stories means that you enjoyed his cunning use of wordplay, his deep and insightful themes, and his emotional insights into human nature. Telling me you like my stories means admitting you masturbated.”) So every letter I get, every review I get (yes, even the bad ones), every comment I get is immensely important to me. Other forms of feedback, like website hits (and yes, sales reports) are nice, because they show people are reading. But listening to people talk about my stories, knowing that I touched them emotionally? It means everything in the world to me. I save every piece of fanmail I get.

So seriously, with the greatest of sincerity, now that you’ve gotten this little explanation as to what it means when I say it, to everyone who’s ever commented on anything I’ve written…

Thank you.