A Word to the Unwise

Y’know, at this point I’ve been a member of the hypnokink community for about a decade. Longer than some, less than others, and some of that time was spent as a quiet lurker, but the point is that I’ve been around long enough to see a few patterns emerge. And one of those is…well, we pretty much all approached the fetish through Simon bar Sinister’s Erotic Mind Control Stories Archive. Reading the stories that he’s meticulously collected is the gateway for most people into hypnokink, which means that one of the first things they read is the disclaimers on Simon’s website. Specifically, Disclaimer #3, which reads, “This site is for fantasy only. The situations described here are at best impossible or at worst highly immoral in real life. Anyone wishing to try this stuff for real should seek psychological help and/or get a life.”

But as a lot of people (including pretty much everyone who reads this blog) has found out, that’s not 100% true. Simon treats it as though it were, of course, because he’s running a website and doesn’t want to get sued by someone who read one of the stories there and decided it’d be a good idea to kidnap a teenage girl and drug her with experimental chemicals to see if he can brainwash her. That’s the sort of thing disclaimers are for. But the fact of the matter is, some of the situations described in some of the stories are not impossible, and are…well, at least only moderately immoral in real life. 🙂

There is a certain type of person, though, that believes that if the disclaimer is not entirely true, then that must mean it is entirely untrue. They find out that you can do lots of fun, sexy things to men and women with hypnosis, and they go out and learn hypnosis with the full intent of using it for fun, sexy things. This is, of course, not at all a bad thing in and of itself. Fun sexy things are fun. BUT…

I have seen, over the years, people who have gotten so excited about the idea of being able to indulge their fetish for hypnosis that they forget that the person on the other side of the watch is a person. (To quote Terry Pratchett, “There’s only one true evil in this world, and that’s treating people like they were things.”) They get so turned on by the idea of being able to actually, really, genuinely command another human being to do whatever they say that they do exactly that, even when those commands are pushing very real limits that the other person has. Sometimes it’s trying to trigger someone in an inappropriate situation (like at work, or with family.) Sometimes it’s trying to bypass their hard limits (like getting them to send photos or reveal personal information.) Sometimes it’s trying to get them to forget things that they probably shouldn’t forget (like the inappropriate things that the hypnotist tried earlier.)

In general, these people usually wind up with a bad reputation in the community, just like tops in the BDSM community who don’t respect safewords get bad reputations. I generally don’t call out bad hypnotists, because there’s always plenty of people to do it for me. I will, however, give you a word of advice. If you’re thinking about getting into hypnokink, and if you recognize some of what I described in yourself (and you don’t have to admit it to me, if you do. Just admit it to yourself…) listen to this.

I won’t say that you’ll wind up some sort of pariah. You’ll still be able to find bottoms from time to time, just because there’s always someone who just wants the experience (either because they’re curious, or because they miss it a lot and don’t have a good hypnodom/me they can call their own.) But those people will not stay. They will wind up unhappy with you, they will stop trusting you, and you will lose those good relationships. That beautiful, wonderful person that has trusted their mind to you will walk away, and hypnosis will not help you keep them. Their subconscious is trusting, their subconscious is welcoming, but their subconscious is not stupid and it is there to protect them. And you will wind up losing someone that you will wish you’d treated better. So remember…they’re people. Not things.

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One Response to “A Word to the Unwise”

  1. TOKAS Says:

    Amen.

    This is why I don’t.

    This is why I draw a very wide, black line between reality and fantasy.

    And this is why I watch myself like a hawk, every second of the day.

    That said, I have noticed that the “darker” side (BDSM and relatives) of the kink community has a tendency to draw out those who shouldn’t be trusted with such things. I worry that I’m one of them.

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