Archive for August, 2016

The Hardest Command to Obey

August 30, 2016

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 41 astonishingly wonderful Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

The other evening, Goddess pounced me as we were going to bed–She just looked at me with a certain set to Her eyes, and I knew that I was going to sink deep for Her. She took me very far under and She told me that I was a good boy, that I had earned this, and She played with my mind very deliciously for a long time. When She brought me up, She told me again that I had earned it. That I’ve been very supportive of Her while She’s had Her ongoing health issues, and that She was proud of Her good boy. And She said She wondered how I felt when She told me those things.

It’s hard to admit that the answer is “a little nervous” sometimes.

Because I don’t really feel like a good boy very often. I’ve never been very good at accepting praise, and my self-esteem is probably not in a very good place even after years of unconditional love and affection. Even when I’m in the absolute deepest trance She can put me in (and that’s very deep indeed) there’s a part of me that hears that phrase and begins to catalogue all the ways that I’ve failed to please Her. It keeps brutal track of every time I’ve been too tired to do some chore or another, every time I’ve forgotten something at the store, every time I’ve accidentally brushed a sore spot while petting Her or made Her worry about where I was or spent time writing instead of time with Her. My subconscious mind is very good at reminding me of the ways I’ve failed.

There’s a line I wrote in a story that sums it up: “I’m not afraid of Her, but I’m always afraid of disappointing Her.”

So a part of me always wants to rebel when I hear those words. “You’re a good boy.” “You earned this.” A part of me feels fundamentally unworthy of so much love and pleasure, of the kind of devotion that comes from being owned. It’s something I’m always working on; I trust Goddess implicitly, and I always remind myself that if She places Her faith and praise in me, then I must be doing something right. I’m conditioning myself to believe what She believes. But it’s not easy.

But that’s what makes it all the more important to hear. That’s what makes it so powerful; when She strips away all my resistance and leaves me completely open to Her will and Her control, I am what She chooses to fill me with. And She chooses to fill me with love. She chooses to fill me with praise and affection. She chooses to show me what I look like through Her eyes, and what I am to Her is devotion and care. I can’t always see it as well as I could, but the greatest gift She can possibly give, the one that leaves me quivering in gratitude, is to keep showing it to me. That’s why I love Her so much.

I don’t feel like a good boy very often. But for Her, I will always be the best I can be.

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Early Bird Sneak Peek: “My Mind Is Gone”!

August 25, 2016

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Fix You”, teased as last week’s Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “My Mind Is Gone”! (MC FF)

Viv has pulled the ultimate in all-nighters, but she’s finally through the worst of it–all she has to do now is stay up until the end of the day to get her sleep schedule back on track. But she’s so brain-fried she can’t think at all…so isn’t it lucky that her roommate Cammie is here to do all the thinking for her? Here’s a taste:

I don’t even notice when Cammie walks in. I’m telling myself that I can’t go to bed yet, not without fucking up my sleep schedule something awful, but my eyes aren’t listening to me as well as they did even a few hours ago. The television keeps jumping from one scene to the next and sometimes all the way to another show, and I’m well past the point where caffeine is doing anything for me. Cammie takes one look at me and says, “Why aren’t you asleep, girl?”

My response is to flinch in surprise, whiplash my head in her general direction, stare at her like she teleported into the living room, and say, “Huh?” It’s not exactly my finest moment, but my mind is gone. I have used up all my thinking brains for the day, and all I’m doing is running out the clock until it’s eight (my arbitrary cut-off separating “going to bed early” from “falling over in the middle of the day and entering a sleep-deprivation induced coma”) and I can collapse. Intelligent conversation is not happening.

And Cammie knows it. Even if she hadn’t been witness to my epic life-or-death struggle against the forces of Finals, Asshole Bosses Who Won’t Let Me Have Any Time Off, and Sister’s Wedding In Eau Claire, the dark circles under my eyes and my slack facial expression would have made it clear. “Viv,” she says, “I’m serious. Why aren’t you already asleep?”

Hope you enjoy it!

MST3K vs Hypnosis: Gamera vs Zigra

August 21, 2016

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 40 startlingly stellar Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

No, that’s not the double-bill for tonight’s events; believe it or not, the B-grade Japanese monster movie series about the giant fire-breathing turtle who flew by pulling his limbs into his shell and turning the holes into jet propulsion vents actually took a pretty big detour into hypnosis somewhere around the seventh film in the venerable monster series. (As a general rule, by Film #7 in any series, they tend to be a bit desperate for ideas.)

In this particular case, the titular villain, Zigra, doesn’t actually appear until the back half of the movie. It spends most of the first half in consultation with its spokeswoman, a bikini-wearing character who delivers most of the exposition on its behalf. She has a passionate hatred for the human race (because we pollute the oceans and kill fish…there’s a weird, half-baked environmental message in there) and she has the ability to gaze into people’s eyes and zap them with red twinkling lights. Folks so zapped become automatons, more or less mindless but capable of following simple instructions.

Yes, I know, it sounds like the best movie ever. And if you’re a bumbling-Japanese-scientist-sexual, it probably is. But unfortunately, most of the scenes involve her  hypnotizing bumbling Japanese scientists, so the rest of us are kind of left out in the cold just a bit. (She also spends some time chasing small children around, because late-period Gamera movie, but I’m hoping nobody finds that sexy.) Plus, there are way too few scenes of her hypnotizing men and way too many scenes of hotel managers arguing with zookeepers over fish for this to really count as a major sexytimes production.

Although I will give it some credit–the mid-movie twist is that she, herself, is a victim of Zigra’s hypnosis, having been brainwashed into becoming its avatar/representative to humanity. The same technique that frees people from her control works on her. (Steven Moffat later used this to brilliant effect in Doctor Who.) But at that point the hypnosis disappears from the film entirely, so it’s very much a lose/lose scenario.

I’d say you could repurpose it for brainwashing mash-up videos, but that’s about it. Funny episode, though!

Early Bird Sneak Peek: “Fix You”!

August 18, 2016

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Keeper of the Flame”, teased as last week’s Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “Fix You”! (MC MF MD)

Jane’s having a recurrence of her anxiety disorder. She’s feeling uncertain of her place in the scheme of things, uncomfortable with who she is and what she’s doing, and she needs to talk about her anxiety. Luckily, Doctor Bishop is always there for her. Always.

Here’s a taste:

“So what can I do for you?” he asked, breaking into her train of thought. “We don’t have a session scheduled, but I’ve got a little free time at the moment if you need to talk.”

Jane shifted nervously. “I, I mean, it’s probably nothing, but I just figured…I mean, if you don’t mind working on a Saturday, I just…” She took a deep breath, trying to center her thoughts. “I just don’t feel right, you know? Like the world doesn’t make sense to me anymore. I thought maybe you could fix me up.”

Doctor Bishop chuckled, gesturing to the recliner by his desk. “Now, Jane, we’ve talked about this.” His voice felt so calming that Jane almost forgot she’d ever had any anxiety at all. “These sessions aren’t about trying to ‘fix you’, they’re about finding ways to shake off negative patterns of thought and behavior and steer you towards positive ones. Nobody who walks through my door is ‘broken’,” he said, gesturing to the door opposite the one Jane entered through, “they just need a little help finding their best self. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Hope you enjoy it!

Liner Notes for July 2016

August 14, 2016

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 40 practically perfect Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

It’s technically well into August at this point, so I’m sure you know what that means–it’s time to look at the July stories and try to figure out what went into turning them from vague ideas into functioning pieces of smut! This was a heavy month due to Simon’s well-deserved break at the end of June, so let’s get started.

Girl Crush: This was an accidental addition into the Girls(tm) canon–I was thinking about how the Girls have been expanding their influence, person by person, and it occurred to me to wonder how they get at people who are already a couple. And that led me to the idea of a couple where one person gets a Girl and the other person views it as emotional infidelity, which led me to think about the song “Girl Crush” (which, for those of you who’ve not heard it, is about a woman developing a crush on the girlfriend of the subject of her affections solely because she wishes she could be her), and…yeah. It clicked remarkably quickly after that.

Caught in a Trap: This was by request from PearlQueenPosts, from Tumblr, who asked for a story that featured pearl earrings and used not just the title but the lyrics from an ELO song as inspiration. I came up with the rough idea very early on, but a lot of the details came out of trying to figure out why the controller would go to so much trouble to get this specific woman (she must have skills that the controller wants) and why she couldn’t just go out and get her. I think that it’s important to spend time hashing out logical reasons for your plot more often than not; sure, it’s smut, but I think if everyone is just acting as plot puppets already, a lot of the heat of them being controlled is lost.

Doll: This is one of my periodic “induction” pieces, and serves as an induction if you know someone who’s into dollification and wants to go under for you. A lot of the imagery at the beginning came out of my real life issues at the time–my day job is seasonal, and summer is the busy season. Having to write on top of overtime and family obligations sometimes leaves me pretty wiped, so when I had to get this one ready, it was easy to imagine someone telling me that I looked like crap and needed a brain-break. (I’m not so much into being a doll, but one of the weird things about writing fetish porn is you pick up a little bit of sympathetic kink on a variety of subjects. Probably why I never write incest or scat.)

Trust In Me: This song is, of course, kind of a motherlode of EMC fetishism for a lot of people. As a result, for a long time, I never even thought of writing a story using it–what could I do that was going to top the formative hypnosis image of 80% of the people in the community? Then it occurred to me that a cunning hypnotist might use that in and of itself as an induction, and I got the idea of someone using physical control of the other person’s body as an induction technique, and the rest of the story clicked into place from there. About the only thing that’s even slightly worth talking about is that once again, I tried to put a little representation in there; I’m not going to break my arm patting myself on the back, but I hope that this helps people of color see themselves in the kink community.

Uniform: One of my “oh god oh god all the ideas in my idea file sound terrible and I need to stare at song titles and brainstorm until something pops into my head” stories. (There are more of these than I care to admit.) In this case, as with a lot of single-word titles, the inspiration came from considering the multiple meanings of a word and allowing the literal meaning to play off of the subtextual meaning. So Marcelline (yeah, I know) gradually transforms from being a very individual individual to a facelessly-conforming drone over the course of putting on her uniform. (Research for this involved lots of reading about latex fetishwear. Oh, the things I do for you.)

That’s all for now–join me next week for another blog entry, and next month for another Liner Notes!

Early Bird Sneak Peek: “Keeper of the Flame”!

August 11, 2016

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Pussy Control”, teased as last week’s Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “Keeper of the Flame”! (MC MF FD)

After having a few too many to drink and getting lost in a strange neighborhood, Tomas happens upon a Good Samaritan named Isra. But Isra, it seems, has a secret destiny…one that Tomas will play a large part in.

Here’s a taste:

The woman left the room and came back a few minutes later, that same welcoming smile still on her face. “There,” she said. “That’s all settled. Your cab is on its way, although I should warn you from long experience that it takes a while for them to make it out this way. Still, I hope I’m an agreeable enough person to pass the time with.” She sat down on the chair opposite him and reached out to shake his hand. “My name is Isra.”

“Tomas,” he said, surprised at the strength of her grip. “I’m sorry to be such a bother. I asked the taxi to drop me off, but I wasn’t where I thought I was, and…” He trailed off again, unable to find himself at ease in the stranger’s house no matter how welcoming she was.

“It’s no bother at all!” she said, sitting back in her chair. “I like to think of it as destiny, myself. Here I was, unable to sleep, and here you were, out on your own at night in a neighborhood that’s…well, let’s just say it’s seen better days. Who knows what might have happened if I hadn’t been the one with my light on?”

Hope you enjoy it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

August 8, 2016

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 39 kind and considerate Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

This will probably be a short post because I’m afraid I’m a bit too itchy to fully concentrate–yes, I had a birthday today, and yes, the festivities did involve a bit of outdoors time, and yes, there were more mosquitoes out there than I care to count and I was bitten all over. But the point is, this post is written to commemorate the very tail-end of my birthday!

I’m sure folks have guessed that, given the fact that I wrote my first porn back in 2000, I’m not exactly young. But I’m not ready to call myself old (heck, I still haven’t hit the level cap in City of Heroes yet), and I do think that smut plays a big part in that. Having an active sexual imagination is, I feel, one of the keys to feeling younger than you are; sex is a vital and energetic part of life, and keeping it close to you is a revitalizing and energizing thing. (When kept in balance, of course; I wouldn’t recommend obsessing about sex every waking moment, especially if you’re an airline pilot or an EMT.)

But I think that if you can find that spark of passion in your life, you’re never really old no matter what the calendar says.

Early Bird Sneak Peek: “Pussy Control”!

August 4, 2016

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Breathe It In”, teased as last week’s Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “Pussy Control”! (MC MF MD)

Mallory’s decided to skip class and spend a little quality time reading an email that Daniel, her online Master, sent to her. Well, not to her exactly…but she’s allowed to read along with the real recipient.

Here’s a taste:

Not that Mallory necessarily had to do everything Daniel said, of course. She liked to pretend she did sometimes, because, well…she lay down on the bed and rubbed herself through the crotch of her panties, feeling the fabric cling to her labia. Because it made her pussy do this. But that didn’t mean he was really in control. She was always in control. When she submitted, it was just because she wanted to. That was all.

And right now, she wanted to submit. Daniel wasn’t online, of course–it was two o’clock in the morning in Brisbane. But Mallory had a little something he’d left her as a special reminder of just how hot he made her. She grabbed her phone and opened up her email, scrolling down to a header that said, ‘A Special Message Just For You And You Alone’. With slightly trembling fingers, she opened it.

Hello my pretty little pussy, she read.

Hope you enjoy it!