Archive for December, 2017

Liner Notes for December 2017

December 31, 2017

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 82 celebrating and celebrated Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

It is New Year’s Eve as I type this, and probably after I’m done I’m going to knock off a little early from my writerly duties and spend some time with my family as we go into the new year together. (Except for our temporally displaced housecat, who will be going into the new year approximately 1.7 minutes ahead of us. Don’t worry, we’ll keep a close eye on him to make sure it’s safe to keep aging.) But before I do, let’s look at last month’s stories and see how I came up with them!

You’re Not an Ordinary Girl: Funny story here. I had a bad bout of writer’s block one day. Like, not long, but really bad. Just exhausted, everything I type is shit, I’m shit, complete depths of self-loathing kind of belief in my own incompetence and laziness. And it was all because I knew I needed a Girls story set between “Girls With Guns” and the still-forthcoming “The Boys of Summer”, but I couldn’t come up with one and my self-imposed deadline for one was coming due. (I try not to let too long go by without a Girls story or a superhero story.)

So I went to bed, still unhappy and unfulfilled, but I couldn’t sleep because I knew I had to get something done. And I got back up, and I just surfed to AZLyrics.com and paged through song titles one after another (I started at Y, just in case you thought this was going to be even more depressing than it already is) until I found a title with the word “girl” in it that sparked an idea. And when I saw this one, something finally broke open in my head (probably inspired by the person who suggested a story about a ‘victim’ who wanted to be hypnotized by their Girl) and it all came spilling out. I wrote until about two in the morning, and was able to finish the story the next day. But man, there are days when being a writer is a recipe for neurosis and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Tunnel Vision: This one was much easier, thank God. It’s pretty much just a fantasy that I’ve been talking about with a partner, written out in story form. (We haven’t done it yet, but Tetris is available for the Nintendo DS, an acronym that amuses me to no end.) Really simple, really straightforward, just “hey, this makes me hot and here’s 2000 words or so on how hot I think it would be.” Sometimes this is a pretty fun job after all.

The Kidnap Show: I saw this title and a few things came to mind–one, the legendary Daphne’s legendary story “Public Access”, which is all about a public access show that hypnotizes anyone who watches it (“She closed her eyes, listening to the TV, waiting for the program to change.” So hot.) Two, the way that so much of Millennial entertainment focuses on that sort of “outsider art”, deriving ironic enjoyment from things that are bizarre and unusual and often not very good by conventional standards. I knew that if someone was told, “Oh my God, you wouldn’t believe this fucked-up shit I saw on public access television at 2 AM,” there’s a kind of person who would stay up that late just to watch it. And three, kidnap fantasies are fucking hot.

And after that, it all came together pretty naturally. Cheesy show that almost nobody watches where they “pretend” to hypnotize and kidnap people, and the protagonist who starts watching for a laugh and is ensnared by it just like the friend that got her to pay attention to it in the first place. (And of course, the ending strongly implies that she’s going to do the same thing to someone else.) I think it came out very hot, for those who are into the kidnap thing.

Remember to Remember: I think this one may just be for me. It’s getting very low rankings on Literotica, but for my part, as soon as I saw the title I thought of using the various permutations of “remember to forget” and “forget to remember” (a staple of memory play hypnosis) as a form of induction all their own. I loved the mathyness of it, the way that the hypnotist keeps layering on new permutations until the odds of successfully staying awake in the face of the induction drop to a vanishingly small number, and the way that the patter turns into a confusion induction as it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish one permutation from another. And of course, I’m always partial to writing stories that hit the “mind control fetish” part very hard, even if they have no sex. But it looks like nobody shares my vision here. Eh, there’s always another one next week if you don’t grok it.

Juicy Jungle: I’d had this one in the back of my head for a long time, because as someone who has to look at a lot of porn for professional purposes, it is noticeable to me that shaving/waxing the pubic area has gone from being exotic to expected. And while I’m not going to suggest for a moment that women “shouldn’t” shave their pubic mound, because oh lord the obnoxiousness of “you shouldn’t conform to this societal standard of beauty just because men tell you, you should conform to this other societal standard of beauty because this other man tells you!”, I do sometimes want to present positive depictions of women who go natural because if that’s what you do, you deserve to have a positive depiction of your body in the media you consume.

So I knew it was going to be about someone being hypnotized to grow out their pubic hair rather than cut it off, and I felt that it would probably be a lesbian story. Once I started writing it, I found that I really got a handle on the couple by picturing Janelle’s hands; they were going to be rough hands, the hands of someone who worked in a physical medium, but they were also going to be the hands of an artist. Janelle is a good Domme, a caring and loving Domme, and Emily is safe with her. This is a romantic story, and I wanted it to feel positive in all sorts of ways, right down to representation of Black lesbian women and a loving depiction of an interracial relationship that doesn’t fetishize the interracial nature of it. I hope I succeeded.

And that’s it for the year–the next time I write an entry, it will be 2018 and I will be one foot out the door to Charmed! See ya then!

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Charmed 2018 Is Go!

December 30, 2017

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 81 genteel and kind Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

Thanks to a little bit of good fortune and the generosity of my fellow hypnokinksters, I can confirm that I’ll be attending Charmed in just under two weeks’ time! I do intend to do some live-tweeting and recapping of the con as it progresses, to the degree that I can without compromising the privacy of other attendees. I will also be presenting, as will my Goddess, Lady Ru’etha. For those of you interested in meeting me (and I’ll warn you now, I’m not nearly as interesting as your imaginary version of me) you can find me at the following classes:

Friday, 9-10 PM: I will be attending and performing at a reading (which they’ve dubbed “Jukebox’s Erotica Reading”, but I think/hope others will be there) where I tentatively plan to read “The Boys of Summer” (a story set in the Girls universe, and introducing their human-built counterparts, the Boys) and possibly “Pussy Liquor” (a superhero story featuring Eris, from “XOXOX”) and a third if there’s time and I haven’t bored the shit out of people.

Saturday, 2-3:15 PM: I’ll be doing a class called “Building Consent Together”, which is about ways to think of a D/s relationship less as a “negotiation”, which carries adversarial undertones, and more as creating plans for a structure you build together (and yes, it is based on the “Consent Castles” strip). I’m hoping to build in a lot of dialogue and audience participation here, but don’t worry, if you’re not up for talking in groups you can sit in the back and I won’t mind.

Saturday, 5-6:15 PM: I’ll be doing a class called “How to Help the First-Time Subject”, which is about…well, the title’s pretty obvious, yes, but the goal is to take someone who wants to be hypnotized but never has been and isn’t sure whether they can achieve trance, and give them a real, positive trance experience that they can build on to become a better subject and have a lifetime of fun with hypnosis.

Sunday, 5-6:15 PM: Lady Ru’etha and I will be doing a class together called “Polyamory and Hypnosis”, where we use our personal experiences as polyamorous partners in a hypnokink relationship to discuss ways that you can make that kind of relationship work and work better.

Lady Ru’etha will also be doing a class on kinesthetic hypnosis at 2 PM on Friday, and one on power exchange 101 at 3:30 on Saturday. Given that both of these are areas She’s been working in since before I’ve known Her, I expect that She’ll have some very good things to say for anyone who’s interested in either topic.

We will also be around the con all weekend, so feel free to say hello. I’m really looking forward to this one, and I hope that even if you can’t attend, by the time I’m finished talking about it you’ll be looking forward to Charmed 2019!

Early Bird Sneak Peek: “Xanax and Wine”!

December 28, 2017

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Juicy Jungle”, teased previously as an Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “Xanax and Wine” (MC FF)!

Pauline has a problem–her anxiety medication interacts badly with alcohol, ruining her hobby of enjoying fine wines. She’s also got a solution–drink with a friend who takes care of her while the cocktail of xanax and wine drugs her into mindless compliance. And her friend Suzannah has her own little rewards for keeping Pauline safe…here’s a taste.

Suzannah seemed to get stronger every time, and Pauline felt so deliciously weak by comparison. It almost frightened her, but somehow the rush of nervous adrenaline only heightened her arousal. Pauline felt Suzannah press the glass into her hand, and she knew that it was time.

She took a sip, letting the wine linger in her mouth to get the full effect. It was an excellent Merlot, well-aged with notes of vanilla and plum, and Pauline savored the taste before swallowing. Suzannah could have handed her just about anything, of course; a ten-dollar Zinfandel out of a box would have done the job. But Pauline appreciated the taste of fine wine, the experience of it and not simply the alcohol. That was how it all started, in fact. Everyone had that one hobby they didn’t want to give up just because their doctor didn’t approve, and Pauline’s was less dangerous than most.

Again, for a given value of ‘dangerous’. She put the glass to her lips and took another drink.

Hope you enjoy it!

Early Bird Sneak Peek: “Never Ending”!

December 21, 2017

Hi all! It’s time for another Early Bird Sneak Peek, where I share a glimpse at the story my lucky Early Bird patrons will be enjoying next Saturday thanks to their pledges at my Patreon page! Of course, if you’re not an Early Bird patron, you’ll still get a story next week–“Remember to Remember”, teased previously as an Early Bird story, has already been submitted to the EMCSA. But the Early Bird patrons will be getting “Never Ending” (MC MF MD)!

Sandra’s gone chasing the spiral again. She knows that there must be a center, because Jayden’s told her so, but no matter how deep she stares it always seems like there’s somewhere further down. And down. And down…here’s a taste:

She wasn’t thinking about any of that right now, though, at least not consciously. She was aware of the throbbing in her clit, aware of the deeper pulse of pleasure that existed solely in her thoughts as they washed away, one by one, under the tide of patterned light that poured into her gaze. The pleasure was an intimate and constant companion on her journeys into the spiral, much in the same way that Jayden’s touch was always comfortable and familiar to her. But she didn’t think about it. She didn’t watch Jayden’s fingers trailing down her blouse, undoing one button after another, helping her undress with gentle and loving care. It simply happened.

Even when she acted on Jayden’s words, Sandra didn’t think about what she was doing. She had already journeyed too deep into the spiral to let her body distract her like that. She stood up from the bed, never taking her eyes off the heart of the spiral, and undid her fly. Her jeans hit the floor in a single smooth motion, her panties followed moments later. Then she settled back down, her back resting against Jayden’s slender chest. She could feel his soft, smooth skin against hers, his erect cock twitching slightly as she rocked against it. The motion was instinctive, automatic, simply one more way that she obeyed.

Hope you enjoy it!

Nearly-End-of-Year Update

December 17, 2017

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 77 wonderful and amazing Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

It’s now December 17th, and I wanted to give a quick update on some of the things that have been affecting my writing and blogging and captioning. I generally try not to spend a lot of time talking about myself–let’s face it, if I thought I was that interesting, I wouldn’t have created an online persona that involves so much talking about imaginary things happening to fictional people–but it’s useful every once in a while.

As you might have noticed, I’ve missed my sneak peeks for the last couple of weeks. I’ve also been captioning irregularly, although I haven’t missed my “seven a week” milestone that I promised y’all. These delays have been due to three main things: 1) I was hitting the home stretch in my much-belated efforts at finishing my college education, 2) I was putting the finishing touches on a non-fiction, vanilla book that will be published sometime in 2018, and 3) it’s December and everybody’s social life gets more hectic in December.

I’m pleased to say that 1) and 2) are now both pretty much fully under control. I returned my textbook today, the last thing I had to do for class, and while I’m still officially awaiting my grade I feel pretty confident that I’ll get an A or at worst a B+. I’ve also turned in the manuscript to my publisher for the vanilla book, and while I might get a few more revisions back on it, I feel like it’s pretty solid work that isn’t going to require any major changes. That just leaves 3), and I did my Christmas shopping yesterday before seeing ‘The Last Jedi’. (Solid movie. Does interesting things with not just the tropes of Star Wars but with the expectations undergirding heroic fiction in general. Won’t spoil.)

So once this weekend is over, I should finally have some mental space to do things like get ready for Charmed in a little less than a month, and catch up on some of the writing that has fallen by the wayside over the last three months (nothing major or even noticeable if you’re not me, but I’ve seen my backlog dip down from a year to a little over ten months. I know, that’s an absurd thing to worry about, but my backlog really does keep my anxiety over writers’ block at bay.)

And I really want to use this post to thank everyone who’s supported me during this period. There are so many people, personally and professionally, who have helped me through this strange period both materially and emotionally, and that means a lot to me. Thank you all so very much, and I’m hoping that I can keep repaying that debt to you all.

Normal service will resume next week.

The Changes to Patreon and What It Means

December 10, 2017

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 75 hopefully very understanding Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

For those of you unfamiliar with the recent brouhaha that’s erupted over Patreon, I will sum up with a brief capsule description. Basically, because Patreon had so many different ways for the artist to structure their pledges, and because so many of those pledges involved small amounts of money on an individual basis, a lot of the artist’s income was being eaten up with credit card processing fees. Patreon wasn’t happy about this, but they didn’t want to remove the flexibility artists have for structuring their pledges and they couldn’t afford to just eat the fees.

They’ve come up with what they’re calling a solution. Starting Monday, December 18th, those fees are going to be passed along to the Patrons in the form of a surcharge on their pledges. The charge is 2.9% of the pledge, plus $0.35. Given that I’ve been charging my Patrons four times a month for their content at the rate of $1 to $2 dollars per charge, this amounts to an extra buck-fifty or or so every month every tier. I do not like this, but Patreon seems to be holding firm that there’s really no other way given all of the necessities of the platform.

I don’t intend to leave Patreon at this point, but I can’t really justify asking people to pay the processing fee an extra three times a month. So starting January 1st, I will be moving to a monthly charge instead of paid posts. That’s going to save folks about $1.05 a month from that surcharge. This does mean that there will be two paid posts (the December 23rd and December 30th posts) under the new fees and old system. If you need to unsubscribe for a couple of weeks as a result, I do understand.

The reward tiers will be changing to accommodate the new payments. It’ll be $4, $8, and $12 a month instead of $1, $2, and $3 a week. This isn’t actually a change, but it will look like one on the website. Please don’t panic; I’m not charging any more than I was before, it’s just going to be structured slightly differently. You should see the new version of the payment structure go up on New Year’s Eve.

And finally and most of all, I want to thank everyone who is sticking with me through all of this. I don’t know how much an extra dollar or two a month in fees means to you, but I don’t want to treat it casually or assume it’s trivial. I appreciate your support, and I want you to know that the people who pay for my stories really help to keep me going–not just in the sense of “you help put food on my table every month”, but in the sense that when I look at my Patreon every week, I know that there are at least some people who care enough about my work to make an actual sacrifice of their financial resources to show me. It’s really sweet and I want you all to know I notice. Thank you.

Ethical Brainwashing

December 3, 2017

(This post has been brought to you by the efforts of my 76 kind and considerate Patrons! Visit my Patreon page to learn how to become one of them.)

A while back, I made a note to myself that I should discuss the idea of “ethical brainwashing”–what it means, and what it implies about the D/s relationship of its practitioners. So let’s start by first saying that yes, there is such a thing as ethical brainwashing in the context of kink. In fact, a lot of consensual D/s relationships practice it even without realizing it; any time you hear someone talking about “training their slave”, they’re doing some brainwashing. But we’re dealing with it in the specific context of conscious conditioning, so let’s break down a little what we mean.

Brainwashing, in this sense, is the use of hypnosis (frequently combined with other behavioral conditioning techniques studied and employed in classical psychology) to effect permanent changes in the submissive’s behavior. These can be as simple as a new habit, or as complex as deep, permanent personality changes. This isn’t something that can be done simply or easily, which is why I said initially that “brainwashing” implies a relationship between the Dominant and the submissive; you can’t instill a permanent change in a single session. It is inherently a long-term project, and it will both require a bond of trust between hypnotist and subject to succeed and build a bond of trust between hypnotist and subject if it does succeed.

But what does it mean to be “ethical”? Simply put, ethical brainwashing involves starting with a mutual, consensual communication of the end goals of the behavioral changes, with the understanding that the brainwasher will stick to only modifying the personality of the brainwashee in ways they’re comfortable with. It also involves making sure that the ramifications of the brainwashing are considered and planned for before things get underway; if the subject wants to have their intelligence reduced, they need to discuss what that means in terms of their job, their college plans, and their family life, and “I don’t care I just want to be a bimbo” isn’t a good answer.

Now, it’s worth mentioning that “permanent” doesn’t mean “continuous”; you can have a trigger that engages this change, if one of the things you realize is that there are things that it would be inconvenient to have full-time. (Even something as simple as “you don’t want to wear clothes in your bedroom” might have some complications that need to be discussed.) But a lot of brainwashing suggestions are going to be permanent, and you should be aware that people will think in that context at least at first.

“Now wait,” I hear someone in the back saying, “if all you’re doing is making them do things they already want to do before the brainwashing even starts, how is it even brainwashing?” The answer is simple–wanting to do something isn’t the same as doing it. I might want to exercise daily, but to forge that habit and make a permanent change to my behavior takes time and effort. It’s no different with D/s. A submissive might want to (for example) have difficulty thinking whenever they’re wearing their collar, but that doesn’t just happen on its own without hypnosis and pleasure conditioning teaching them how to attain that foggy-minded state.

So if you plan on doing ethical brainwashing, as a Dominant or a submissive, the first step is to have a conversation together outside of scene, as equals, in which you lay out what you’re actually going to do. You don’t need to discuss every detail down to the exact verbiage, but you should at least have an idea of what you want the dynamic to feel like by the end. This is important, because at least one of the unintended side effects is probably going to be a certain amount of deference to the hypnotist, and reopening the conversation later on may wind up with the submissive agreeing to things they might not be as comfortable with deep down simply because they want to make their top happy. That can, in turn, cause problems down the line because as I said above, the whole thing depends on a bond of trust, and nothing kills trust like a barrier to effective communication.

In general, these are the questions I think you should at least start with when you’re having this conversation?

1. What does the submissive want to become? This speaks to the really obvious (but very important) point of consent, and it’s also going to be easier to submit to brainwashing that your conscious and subconscious mind are congruent on achieving. Again, this is a conversation outside of scene, and you should feel free to speak to your Dominant as an equal and a friend. Don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I know we have fantasy roleplay all the time about turning me into your furniture, but that’s much hotter as a fantasy than as a footstool.”

2. What does the Dominant want to achieve? Again, not only does the Dominant get to consent just as much as the submissive, but the Dominant is going to be putting a lot of work into these behavioral changes and they get to say, “Um, I know that being a himbo is really hot for you, honey, but I like to have conversations with my boyfriends that aren’t about bodybuilding. Let’s make the intelligence reduction a situational thing.”

3. What are the practical obstacles to these goals? There can be a lot of these. As much as we all want to, we don’t live in Kinkworld 24/7, not unless we’re super rich and a character in one of my stories. You should be talking about the impact on other relationships–family, friends, metamours if you’re polyamorous; you should be discussing the impact on work and career. You should be thinking about possible inconveniences or annoyances that might come up in taking a fantasy to a reality–it’s nice to imagine an irresistible compulsion to go naked in your house, but you want to think about what happens when the UPS truck stops by.

If all this sounds like work, it kind of is. But “ethical” doesn’t mean “unless it’s hard or boring.” If you really want to make permanent changes to another person’s personality, you are taking ownership of the effects of those changes and any problems they might cause, and you need to make sure to prevent those problems before they happen and fix them if they do. That’s one of the implications of D/s; you wanted to own someone, well, that means taking care of them. It’s a commitment to another person’s well-being and safety, not just another way to have kinky sex. That can be a little heavy sometimes, but anyone who’s been in a relationship that involves ethical brainwashing will tell you that it’s totally worth it.