Posts Tagged ‘dark odyssey’


April 7, 2010

I mentioned it previously, but I figured maybe I should go ahead and explain the extremely amusing morning Lady Ru’etha and I had at Dark Odyssey. It was a late night for Her the night before (no, not for the reasons you’re thinking–this was the night before the con) and She had asked me to wake Her up in the morning so we could go to the gym and have a nice, leisurely breakfast before registration opened. I slept fairly lightly (I always do, the first night of a con, because my body is still adjusting to a diurnal schedule), and at the appropriate time, I gently shook Her and said, “Wake up, love.”

Those of you who have read the Liner Notes to the anthology that contains “Wake Up Call” (yes, you privileged few who have bought my book) know that it was based on the very real, very difficult experience of trying to get my Lady up when She hasn’t had enough sleep. πŸ™‚ She rolled over, She mumbled incoherently, She squinched Her eyes shut and pretended I wasn’t there…and finally, I said, “Goddess, You did ask me to be Your alarm clock.”

And She opened Her eyes and said, “Yes, I did. Snooze.”

Now keep in mind, She’d never actually installed this as a formal trigger or anything. There was no brainwashing session where She explained to me that when She said the word “Snooze,” I would go into a light trance for nine minutes, floating and drifting quietly and peacefully before coming back to wakefulness on my own. But I was thinking of myself as an alarm clock at the time, metaphorically. And I knew what a snooze button did, metaphorically. And when She said that word, the metaphor became very, very real all of a sudden as I went under.

Nine minutes later, I woke up and returned to trying to wake Her up.


Nine minutes later…”Snooze.”

Finally, nine minutes after that, She was awake enough that She didn’t just automatically trigger me, and I was able to finally rouse Her. The day was, perhaps, a little more hectic as a result…but totally worth it. πŸ™‚

Hypnosis and Tantra

March 24, 2010

Another one of the many many many fantastic experiences I had at Dark Odyssey this year involved Tantra; I’ll probably need to dole this out piecemeal over the course of a few posts, because it’s kind of a big topic to get into, but I’ll start by explaining what Tantra is for those who have only heard of it as “that thing that lets Sting have sex for, like, seven hours”. (Obvious and immediate disclaimer: I am not an expert on Tantra. I am, in fact, about as far away from being an expert as you can be, having only spent parts of a weekend fiddling around with it. I not only accept, but encourage correction on anything I get wrong here.)

Contrary to popular belief, Tantra really isn’t about sex. It’s a religious philosophy that involves sex, and that’s kind of made it “about sex” in Western culture because to us, religion and sex tend to be such polar opposites that when a religious practice involves sex, we kind of tend to focus on it to the exclusion of all else. πŸ™‚ But it’s basically a philosophy that believes that the god Shiva and the goddess Shakti are constantly providing the universe with energy through their lovemaking, and that you can use rituals to evoke and channel that energy yourself. (Or with your partner/s.)

But lovemaking doesn’t just mean “sex”. This is where Sting got all tripped up. πŸ™‚ Tantric lovemaking involves focusing on the moment, really being aware of your partner and doing more than just, um, thrusting and grunting, as it were. The first hour of lovemaking could be something as simple as staring into each other’s eyes, or touching each other’s hands and focusing on the feeling of their skin against yours. The point is that you build arousal slowly, and you let it build for a long time, in order to achieve an altered state of consciousness and touch the divine.

Apart from all the divine stuff, this should sound pretty familiar to readers of my blog. πŸ™‚ I’m actually something of a skeptic, and not a very religious person; my general spiritual leanings run along a spectrum from “lapsed Catholic” to “Catholic heretic” to “deist” to “agnostic” to “atheist”, depending on my state of mind. But Douglas Adams wrote a very good essay (reprinted in ‘The Salmon of Doubt’) about separating the literal aspects of a belief from the philosophy that underpins it, and since reading it, I’ve tried to keep an open mind about esoteric teachings (while trying not to keep an empty one.)

Even so, I’ll admit that I was a little bit nervous going into Dark Odyssey. Lady Ru’etha had told me She wanted to try Tantra, and I was willing to give it a go, but I really wasn’t sure if I’d find anything of value to it…and I was worried that She’d be upset if I couldn’t see what was so fascinating about it to Her. But as always, I’m game for anything She wants me to try. (Thank God She hasn’t asked me to eat escargots.)

As it turned out, I was worried about nothing. The philosophy of Tantra translates very well to my experiences with hypnosis. It’s all about achieving a state of focus and altered consciousness, and experiencing a profound and mystical connection to the divine as a result. This is all very familiar to me from being hypnotized, perhaps even moreso than the usual hypnotic subject because so much of my tranceplay with Lady Ru’etha is erotic. Basically, I found out that I’ve been doing Tantra all along. They just have different words for everything. πŸ™‚

Being Green

March 12, 2010

Today, I’d like to…um, pretend that it’s still Wednesday, when this post was supposed to go up. I can do that, right? πŸ™‚

But seriously, today, I’d like to talk about a subject that’s near and dear to my heart–BDSM. I’m only a couple weeks back from the wonderfully overwhelming experience that is every year’s Dark Odyssey, and my thoughts are still somewhat turned towards a mix of BDSM and hypnosis rather than purely the latter, so I figured I’d have a little chat about an often-neglected tool in a dominant’s toolbox. (And no, it’s not nipple clips. No, not rope, either. No, not the dildo–I said “often-neglected”, people! How often does a dominant neglect the fur-lined handcuffs?)

That tool is the word “green”. Its counterparts, “yellow” and “red” are ones that just about everyone in the BDSM scene is familiar with, even if they hope never to use them; “yellow” is the common code for, “Something’s wrong here and you need to put things on hold while we figure out what it is,” and “red” is the common code for, “I’m freaking out/in genuine pain/losing circulation to my hands and we need to stop the scene right now and let me go.” These are important, necessary tools for conducting BDSM, and with very few exceptions, any dominant who insists that they don’t need them is a douchebag. (If you think you’re one of the exceptions, you’re probably not.)

But a lot of people never really think to use “green” as a code for “Whatever you’re doing right now is wonderful, and I love it, and I would like this to be a regular part of our play together!” Which is a shame, because one of the big secrets of being a top is that dominants aren’t really filled with god-like wisdom and a perfect, innate sense of what it is that will make their submissive whimper in delight. (Except Lady Ru’etha, of course. πŸ™‚ ) Dominants are always expected to be the one to come up with ideas about what to do, and a lot of the time, they’re winging it. Giving them positive feedback is a huge plus.

This isn’t the same thing as “topping from the bottom”, of course. That’s the wonderful thing about it. “Green” isn’t demanding or pushy; it’s just an expression of sheer, unmitigated bliss at whatever the dominant is doing to you at that moment. Your dominant can use it as a baseline, something they can go back to when they want to without surrendering control of the scene to the person being whipped/flogged/spanked/tied up/insert kinky thing here. Or there. Or…oh, goodness, will it even fit there? πŸ™‚

In my particular case, Lady Ru’etha has literally installed a post-hypnotic command in my brain forcing me to say “green” when She finds something I like. The word just slips out all on its own, and She has said many times how much easier it is for Her to top me after She installed that trigger. Because She doesn’t have to guess at what I like from body language, She knows. It’s like a road-map to my brain. (She’s even made sure I know the sign language for “green”, “yellow” and “red” just in case I can’t speak for one reason or another. Which isn’t to say that it’s perfect…one of the workshops at Dark Odyssey left Her in the dark because everything She was doing to me felt so good that my hand was permanently locked on “green” for a solid 90 minutes, and I was way too blissed-out to talk. Of course, neither of us really minded the imperfect communication there. πŸ™‚ )

So remember to encourage your subs to use “green” when you’re topping them. Or if you are a sub, try to use “green” when your dominant finds something you like, and be ready to explain why you’re moaning it out to them. πŸ™‚ Because sometimes when it comes to BDSM, “go” is just as important as “stop”. Heck, maybe even moreso!