Posts Tagged ‘light and sound machine’

My Turn To Talk

November 12, 2009

So now that both thrall and Lady Ru’etha have blogged about thrall’s visit yesterday, I guess it’s my turn. (Okay, I’m not actually guessing. Lady Ru’etha told me just a few moments ago. πŸ™‚ ) I’ll try to keep it as sensible and as chronological as possible, given the amount of trance I went through over the last couple of days. πŸ™‚


thrall arrived Tuesday afternoon, but there was a lot of stuff that Lady Ru’etha and I needed to do right around the time she got here, so we really weren’t able to settle in for a good four or five hours. (Luckily, thrall is both patient and a good conversationalist, so that time passed quickly, if busily.) After dinner, Lady Ru’etha took a seat next to thrall on the couch and I sat at Her feet, while Kitty and Reth Eldirood relaxed at the dinner table (they showed up a little late, and were still lightly snacking.)

As the conversation started to turn towards hypnosis, it seemed almost like thrall’s head was on a swivel…she wanted to see everything that was going on, but Lady Ru’etha was on her left, I was (more or less) in front of her, and the boys were on her right. So she’d be talking to the boys, and she’d spot out of the corner of her eye that Lady Ru’etha had made eye contact with me and was touching my nose, and she’d whip her head around to see whether or not a hypnotic induction was taking place. Then she’d whip her head back around, worried that she was being rude. (She wasn’t, though. We all understood perfectly, because we’ve all been in her shoes; that feeling of “OH WOW I AM ACTUALLY IN THE SAME ROOM WITH AN ACTUAL HYPNO-KINKY HYPNOTIST AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET ACTUALLY HYPNOTIZED YEEEEEP!” …it’s a pretty strong adrenalin hit. πŸ™‚ )


She did get her wish, by the way. Lady Ru’etha dropped me several times into light, brief trances, and She also demonstrated rapid inductions on both myself and Kitty. She dropped Reth into a trance so deep that he needed to lie down (mainly for therapeutic purposes, honestly. He’d had a mild cold/flu type of sickness, and was still pretty wiped.) At one point, once I’d gotten several tastes of trance, I actually broke down and begged Lady Ru’etha to hypnotize me. (And She obliged…) It was really obvious that thrall was practically ready to do the same thing, but I could tell that Lady Ru’etha wanted to give thrall a little privacy for her first experience. (She’d actually given me a post-hypnotic command earlier that day that when thrall went under, my eyes would close and I wouldn’t be able to open them until She commanded me to. This was done for privacy reasons, but turned out to be Significant.)


Winterrose dropped by briefly, and the conversation turned back geekwards for a while (we showed thrall “Time Crash”!) But eventually, everyone but Lady Ru’etha, thrall and I left. By then, thrall was just about bursting at the seams with anticipation, and frankly, although thrall might not have noticed it, so was Lady Ru’etha. πŸ™‚ She went and got a pocket-watch, arranged the two of us on the couch with thrall lying down, resting her head in my lap while She sat across from us in a chair. Then She started to dangle the watch in front of us, and…


I think I lasted about five seconds. Lady Ru’etha says thrall lasted about fifteen. (Keep in mind, this isn’t some sort of “power of the hypnotist” sort of deal. We both badly wanted to go into a trance, neither one of us was even remotely trying to resist, and if the conscious mind is already on board like that, hypnosis can be an insanely brief process.) Once we were both under, Lady Ru’etha really worked on the rapport that we were feeling, taking that feeling of connection that comes from experiencing trance in the same time and place (and being in a sort of comfortable, friendly physical contact) and literalizing it by having us experience a golden cable between the back of our necks, linking us together and sending data back and forth.


This was a very powerful image for me (and I think thrall would agree.) It worked with the “your eyes will close when thrall goes under” post-hyp I’d been given earlier, making me go into very deep trance whenever She hypnotized thrall. It deepened the trances we experienced and the sense of connection, making thrall more comfortable with my presence during what was a pretty seriously hot experience for her (I’m trying to keep confidences here, but come on–has anyone not figured out this was a turn-on for all of us?) And although I’m not sure how much she consciously realized it, once Lady Ru’etha connected us like that, thrall really started to internalize a lot of my hypnotic conditioning. When Lady Ru’etha would have me repeat a mantra, or use a trigger on me, it didn’t take long before that same conditioning was in thrall’s head too.


That evening was mostly about the deepening, the relaxation, and the general happy feeling of trance. The next morning, after we’d all woken up, was a little more…intense. πŸ™‚ We started trance early, almost as soon as we woke up, and passed a good few happy hours letting Lady Ru’etha hypnotize the both of us. She concentrated mostly on thrall, because we both understood that she’d only have the day with us and we both wanted her first experience to be memorable in all the right ways instead of the wrong ones, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t enjoying myself. I was in trance any time thrall was in trance, I was in a deep hypnotic rapport with thrall, and I felt pretty much everything she felt. This was very, very, very nice. πŸ™‚ thrall got to use the light and sound machine, and found it just as irresistible and intense as I have. (She accidentally said, “Can I try the brainwashing machine now?” at one point. Talk about your Freudian slips…)


After a while, we finally needed breakfast, and so we all took a break to head out to IHOP (eggnog pancakes=Heaven!) Then we came back, and Lady Ru’etha put a very pretty collar on thrall and had her post to her blog while hypnotized. I was in trance at the time myself, but it occurred to me in a drifty sort of way that the kind of conditioning Lady Ru’etha does is far more effective than the usual “evil hypnotist” stuff in a lot of the stories on the EMCSA…She was just filling thrall up with praise and pleasure and affirmation on a very primal level, making her feel so happy just for doing such tiny things for Her. It’s such an addictive experience that I feel very lucky She’s so very ethical. πŸ™‚


Then, at thrall’s request, we took a few photos and videos of her going under (strictly for our own private scrapbooks, sorry.) I was the “cameraman”, and let me tell you, when you’ve spent the better part of a day being conditioned to go into a deep, eyes-closed trance whenever someone else goes under, it’s pretty hard to make the transition to “eyes open, holding the camera steady.” I’m pretty sure I had the world’s glassiest stare when I was snapping pics.


After that, we did an induction where I held a pocket-watch between the two of us and Lady Ru’etha did the inducing, which was seriously nice. I remember that without Lady Ru’etha even needing to say anything, the pocket-watch just kept getting heavier and heavier after we both closed our eyes, so that by the time She finally woke us, it was lying on the couch. By this point, I was so seriously fractionated that Lady Ru’etha had to wake me about three times every time She brought me up before it would actually take for more than a few seconds, but nobody minded. πŸ™‚


Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and thrall had to get back on the road. But both Lady Ru’etha and I are looking forward to her next visit…although, I suspect, not as much as she is. πŸ™‚

More Memories of DragonCon

September 16, 2009

So on Saturday afternoon at DragonCon, I attended the “Hypnosis Facts and Fiction” panel. It was very well attended, although for a moment at the beginning I was deeply concerned that it was going to be derailed by a Bat. Shit. Insane. Cosplayer who started the whole thing off by asking how she could develop resistance to hypnosis because her arch-nemesis was an evil telepath. (I shit you not. This happened.) But she got shut down very quickly and deftly, and the panel proceeded to be a nice discussion of hypnosis, what it can do, and what it can’t do. (It was also crashed by David Fonteneau, but he was a welcome crasher with some very nice contributions on stage hypnosis and nobody minded that he didn’t actually have a badge. Shhh! Don’t tell any con staffers! πŸ™‚ )

There was no actual hypnosis at that panel; that waited until 11:30 or so, when a room opened up and Lady Ru’etha could do a group induction. This was also quite well attended; about twenty to thirty people showed up and enjoyed what I swore at the time was a ten-minute long group trance, but which turned out to be twenty-eight minutes. I remember thinking that I wasn’t going as deep as usual, despite the happy tick of the metronome acting like an anchor to my brain…but when I came out, I found major time distortion and parts of my memory that had fogged over. (I’m familiar enough with Lady Ru’etha’s group inductions to know what probably happened during that time, but the line between imagination and reconstruction is blurry enough that I won’t bother trying. I just know it was niiiiice. πŸ™‚ )

After that, She did a long period of questions and answers, of which there were a lot–the “hypno-posse” from Thursday night had been joined by a lot of new faces, so there really were a lot of people who’d never experienced deliberately induced trance before and had a lot of questions. (One of my Lady’s standard lines: Everyone has experienced trance. Everyone experiences it several times a day, because it’s a natural state of consciousness. You might not have been formally hypnotized, but you’ve been in trance.)

She did several rapid inductions–this is a technique for putting someone under that involves rapidly overwhelming their conscious mind with more input than they can handle in a short period, then at the exact moment where they’re overwhelmed, giving them just the right little “nudge” into hypnosis. Her induction involved moving Her hand rapidly in front of their face as their eyes followed it, then pulling them forward and saying “Sleep,” just at the moment where their eyes lost focus and started to glaze. It’s an absolutely adorable thing to watch.

Particularly when it involved a very, very adorable young woman in a corset who wandered in on her way back from a rave, saying, “I heard they were hypnotizing people in here!” But I’m getting ahead of myself a bit…

Lady Ru’etha made sure that everyone who wanted a turn got one, then started letting people goof around. We had two light and sound machines (the same things that got into my head so damn bad last year) and a couple of people tried them over the course of the night. Including the friend who’d joined us Thursday night, whose hypnosis interest seemed to have grown exponentially with a couple of days to think over what she’d experienced. (She also turned out to be an amusingly good subject, too; there were a couple of hypnotists in the room that night apart from Lady Ru’etha, and so she wound up dazing out more than a few times over the course of events.)

We all actually wound up going under a lot; Lady Ru’etha is more than a little mischievous when it comes to triggering trances, and She was in a room where at least five people had gone under for Her often enough that they were conditioned to respond to Her trance triggers (deliberately installed or otherwise.) We’d very frequently get into situations where She was hypnotizing one person, and when She looked up, three or four people had gone under.

I recall that after everyone had gone through at least one induction, one woman came back for seconds…and because, as I say, Lady Ru’etha has a mischievous streak to Her, seconds became thirds became fourths before She let her out of the chair. She’d wake her up, give her just a couple of seconds to realize that she was, in fact awake…and then snap Her fingers, or pick up the woman’s arm and drop it into Her outstretched hand, or just say, “Sleep”, and she’d go right back down again. It only lasted about two minutes, but the look in that woman’s eyes by the time she finally got up…OK, by the time she was finally allowed to get up…told me that she was heavily fractionated.

And a few more people joined us over the course of the night–mainly because the girl who was “just curious” about hypnosis on Thursday was telling people up and down the halls on her way to the bathroom, “It’s so awesome, they’re hypnotizing people down there! Go check it out!” Which led to a few people detaching themselves from the knot of dancing, parties, and raves in the central lobby (DragonCon is a serious party con), and wandering in. Including one very attractive girl in a corset who walked in saying, “I heard they were hypnotizing people in here!”

Turned out she’d just had her first experience with hypnosis about a week earlier when a stage hypnotist did a performance (we actually suspect that it might have been the aforementioned David Fonteneau), and she wanted to try some more. And she did…Lady Ru’etha blogged about this on Her own blog, but even at the time, I could see that little light in Her eyes that said, “I’m going to enjoy this about as much as an person can enjoy an essentially G-rated trance.” πŸ˜‰ She gave the girl a rapid, a pocketwatch induction that left me craving so bad that I went up to Her a little bit later and asked for the same, and left the girl pleasantly drifting for a good twenty minutes (at her own request–she was clearly enjoying the trance experience, and when asked, “Do you want to come back up?”, said “Not yet.”) And meanwhile, her boyfriend found the light and sound machine…

By this point, Lady Ru’etha Herself was pretty hilariously fractionated. She commented to one person that She was probbly the easiest subject in the room, and I surprised both of us by running my finger down Her forehead and being quite gratified as She slumped sideways against me. (She’s adorable in trance. It makes me want to cuddle Her like a teddy bear.) I brought Her right back up, because it was Her party and I didn’t want Her to miss out on the chance to hypnotize people left, right and center, but it was a good example of how just the rapport trances were enough to leave Her fractionated.

My pocketwatch induction was right towards the end; I asked Her if She could hypnotize me with the pocketwatch (She has three, all presents from pets) and She cheerfully obliged. There’s something so deep-down satisfying about a traditional pocketwatch induction. It just feels so inevitable–you know what a pocketwatch does when a hypnotist dangles it in front of your eyes, you know what happens when you follow a pocketwatch with your eyes and they start getting heavy, and you just know that you’re going to sink into trance. (I think that the next time I ask Her to do it, I’m going to ask Her to compel my eyes to stay open, instead of compelling them to shut. I love that moment when your eyes flutter and roll back, and I’d love to try to extend it a bit longer.)

The whole evening was a long, happy blur of hypnosis, and it was about 3:30 AM by the time we finally headed back to the hotel room. We’d made a lot of new hypno-enthusiasts, probably more than a couple new hypno-fetishists, and what with all the fractionation, I think I lasted about thirty seconds between the time I lay down and the time I fell asleep.

Mellowed Out

April 12, 2009

I hadn’t posted about the third of Lady Ru’etha’s erotic hypnosis CDs before now, mainly because that one was the only one of the three that wasn’t actually a new experience for me. I’m not usually into the kinks that go into Her “Kittenfur” or “Robotic Transformation” CDs (although as discussed in this blog, once I listened to them, I surprised myself) but a hypnotic fantasy sequence tailored for men, with a powerful female voice seducing them into pleasure? Um, yeah. She kind of suspected I might like that one. πŸ™‚ I’d already heard “Mountain Lake” months before She put it out as a CD.

But I am egotistical enough to think that people might just be buying these CDs based on my somewhat biased testimonials (and I again remind everyone that I belong to Lady Ru’etha and am happy to admit it. In the words of P.G. Wodehouse, “Admit it? I’m proud of it!” So yes, in theory She could just make me say nice things about Her CDs to get you to buy them. But in practice, She knows that would just leave Her feeling all hollow inside, so She trusts me to give an honest opinion. πŸ™‚ ) And the thought that “Mountain Lake”, which I already knew to be awesome, would get left alone in the big virtual CD bin on the Internet, just because I was plugging its siblings, well…this could not stand. So on went the light and sound machine, and it was time for a refresher course with “Mountain Lake”!

This one is easily the most relaxing of the three–in fact, it was so relaxing that for most of the “Safe Space” track that precedes the actual fantasy, I was bordering on sleep. My thoughts were disjointed and wandering, and my conscious mind had long periods where it wasn’t actually paying attention to the recording at all. (This is actually a good sign, for a trance junkie like me. When you’re in that state where you’re hearing but not really listening, then you’re accepting without really thinking, and anyone reading this blog probably thinks that sentence is hotter than porn. πŸ™‚ )

This drifty, spaced-out state lasted pretty much all the way until I’d descended back into my safe space and gone through the door into the fantasy, and then my subconscious started to prompt me to pay a bit more attention. Which wasn’t to say I was less relaxed–the fantasy that Lady Ru’etha guides you through is really so calm and soothing that it’s almost like a dream anyway. Which isn’t to say it’s not erotic, but it’s more of a sensual reverie than an animal lust. This is like waking up to a beautiful woman seducing you and not being sure if you’ve actually woken up or not.

The femdom aspect continues that whole sensual, dreamy feel of the recording–for those of you who are not complete submissives, like me, you can relax. There’s no “Lick my boot, you worthless worm!” type of stuff in here. (In fact, I’ve never heard Lady Ru’etha call anyone a “worthless worm” in my life. Not even actual worms–She tells them that they’re doing a great job aerating the soil, and that they’re vital to the ecology. …but I’m rambling.) It’s very warm, very soothing, and as much about seduction as it is about control. Think of it as the difference between forcing you to submit…and just making you want to surrender all on your own.

All that (plus the fact that it was my Lady’s Voice) made it very easy to just melt into the fantasy, and I’m not really sure when I lost track of the fact that it wasn’t happening. I wasn’t hallucinating it, or anything; I’d just gone deep enough into trance that I was passively accepting everything I was hearing, not thinking critically about it at all. I was whatever She wanted me to be in that moment, and it was delightful.

It was every bit as good as I remembered it being, and this is my gift for understatement at work–I woke up with a little bit of cleaning up to do. Luckily for my sheets, I’ve figured out a little trick with the light and sound machine; I may not have the energy to reach up and pull the goggles off, but I do have the energy to squeeze my eyes shut tighter. And when I do that, I can’t see the lights, and when I can’t see the lights, I can snap myself out of it and pull the goggles off. So that takes care of the lingering “lying there in a daze for fifteen minutes after listening to the CD” issue. πŸ™‚

This one is probably the best one for people (okay, men, although I think She’s slightly overstating the whole “for men” thing–She mentions a cock once or twice) who want to just dip their toes into the whole “erotic hypnosis” thing. It doesn’t feature heavy conditioning, heavy D/s, or really anything heavy at all. It’s a light, mellow, relaxing bit of mental meditation…with orgasms. Beats the hell out of yoga any day, huh?

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat!

March 24, 2009

Sonovabitch. She actually did it.

Allow me to explain that statement. πŸ™‚ As I mentioned last time, I’m listening to Lady Ru’etha’s brand new CD releases, available through Her brand new website here and temporarily on sale. (In the interests of full disclosure, I should mention that I’m Her brainwashed pet, and have been formally collared to Her for almost a year now, which doesn’t exactly make me an unbiased source of information about Her. But on the other hand, I don’t give my mind and body to someone lightly, so I hope people understand just how big of a testimonial it is that I let Her own me completely.)

This time, I decided to listen to “Kittenfur”, a CD that’s supposed to give the listener the experience of transforming into a cat. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure how well this one was going to work for me. The “Robotic Transformation” CD…I don’t have robophilia or technophilia, but I can at least understand the desire to be programmed, and I can get behind the idea of wanting to become a perfectly obedient subject that’s incapable of resisting commands. There’s a lot of overlap between that and being a robot servant, enough that I could bridge the mental gap.

But I’m not an animal person. I don’t have pets, I’m not into the furry kink, I don’t really have a spiritual connection to any animals (although I did like penguins when I was a kid), and I’ve never really wanted to see myself as a cat (or a wolf, or an eagle, or any of the other traditionally “totemic” animals.) To top it all off, Lady Ru’etha and I have never really done much transformation play along those lines. Our play has tended to focus on molding and shaping my actual personality, not creating alternate ones (temporary or permanent.) I really wasn’t sure if this even could work, let alone if I wanted to.

But She asked me to listen to it, and obedience is pleasure, so I hooked up the light and sound machine again (this time I made sure to pick a program that ran closer to the length of the actual CD, so I wouldn’t be floating in trance for twenty minutes afterwards), popped the CD in the player, and I was off!

In point of fact, I was off into trance, and pretty quickly at that. I’d just listened to “Safe Space”, the opening track, the day before, so I was primed to go under to it (and it’s designed to induce trance quickly, which certainly didn’t hurt.) Plus, of course, it bears mentioning that I’m very accustomed to going into trance for my Lady as a general rule. She does sometimes have to wake me from trances that strictly speaking, She didn’t actually induce. πŸ™‚ The “Safe Space” trance passed quickly and pleasantly, and as before, the light and sound machine kept me from actually waking up between tracks.

So there I was, feeling a little trepidation even in trance, as I passed through the mental gateway to the room where I was supposed to turn into a cat. I wondered just how it would happen–was I going to find myself looking in a mirror and seeing felinity staring back at me? Was it going to be like a progressive induction, only with “turning into a cat” instead of relaxing? I couldn’t think of any method that would possibly work.

Instead, She had me imagine just lying down on a bed and feeling drowsy. (Not hard for someone already in trance.) She then had me imagine Her sitting down on the bed next to me and dangling a sparkling crystal in front of my eyes, speaking softly and hypnotically to me as She petted me…

And it all just slotted perfectly into place. Simultaneously, I got a rush of body memory–I wasn’t just visualizing the sequence of events She described, I was actually remembering them from lovely experience; I got a flash of understanding as to how the transformation would play out, with the already-cat-like behavior of curling up and being petted slowly developing into a full cat persona; I got an understanding of just why I would want it to happen–She’s described me as Her pet, and I know that I can’t ever get enough of relaxing into Her touch and Her words just like a cat curled up in its owner’s lap; and I got, coming out of all of the above and rising up over it, an unmistakable certainty that this was going to work. I was going to become a cat, I couldn’t stop it, and I didn’t want to stop it even if I could have.

(Oh, and in the back of my head, I admired the elegance of Her induction within an induction, using petting, pendants and voice all at once. It utilizes visual, aural, and kinesthetic components, perfect for anyone no matter how they process information. But that’s more of an aside.)

The parts of my brain that still functioned were stunned at how well it worked. I could actually hear myself purring out loud. I could feel a tail and claws (and actually, for several hours afterwards, I found myself feeling phantom sensations of claws at the end of my fingertips.) By the time She suggested I’d want a trigger that would let Her return me to this state, I was literally begging for it. In the span of twenty minutes, I’d gone from thinking that this was going to be the rare kink I couldn’t share with my Lady to thinking that I couldn’t wait to share with Her just how much I loved it.

(As mentioned last time, though, this isn’t a review. I’ve been brainwashed six ways from Sunday, and I’ve got body memory that made the trance experience unbelievably vivid. I don’t actually know, nor can I guess, how the “average listener” might respond to this. I just know I looooved it. πŸ™‚ )

And then at last, She returned me to my human state, the CD ended, and…the light and sound machine didn’t stop. I’m still not sure why–I know I set it for a 45-minute program, but it just kept going and going. And my brain had already been pounded pretty effectively to mush by the CD–every so often, I’d realize that the lights had been going on longer than they should have, and I’d try to figure out just how much longer (my time sense isn’t good in trance), and I’d lose track of time trying to think how to keep track of time without being able to look at a clock, and then my brain would just spin out completely into staring at the lights for a while before I started the cycle again. By the time I finally managed to pull the goggles off, over an hour had gone by and I was so dopey I barely had the energy to change the CD to my usual loop of “Voice” before I went to sleep.

I’m really looking forward to the next time my Lady uses the trigger on me–it might be a while, though. She wouldn’t want to do it while we’re conversing in text trance, after all. All I’d want to do would be to sit on the keyboard.

My Time As a Robot

March 22, 2009

So yesterday morning, Lady Ru’etha asked me, “So why haven’t you listened to my CDs yet?”

Somewhat surprised, I said, “I have listened to ‘Mountain Lake’. As to the other two, well, I’m just not into the furry kink or the robotisation kink.”

She responded, “But a lot of the time, you don’t really know what you’re into until I tell you.”

I thought about it for a moment. The fact of the matter is, although I’m generally hypnokinky, I have to admit that my other big fetish took ages and ages for us to figure out. It always seemed like I’d be into so many different kinks, sometimes ones that even surprised me, but then later on I’d almost completely lose interest in something that was a major turn-on for me in a previous relationship. Finally, it clicked–I have an “enablement fetish”. I get off on the energy my Domme gives off when She’s indulging in one of Her fantasies. In other words, I actually don’t know what I’m into until my Domme tells me. πŸ™‚

So after admitting as much, I cracked open my copy of Lady Ru’etha’s “Robotic Transformation 1.01” and put it in the CD player. I also took a moment to put on the light and sound machine She’d lent me back in February–after all, I was apparently being robotised, so it seemed appropriate to use a little technological assistance in inducing trance. I pressed play on the CD, hit start on the Procyon, and I was off!

Obviously, this isn’t going to be a review of the CD; I doubt I’ve got much credibility as an unbiased reviewer when it comes to my Lady’s products (although when you think about it, if you believe that I’m so brainwashed that I’ll say and think that anything Lady Ru’etha puts out is brilliant, that’s a pretty good endorsement of Her hypnosis products in and of itself.) But I do want to talk a bit about the experience.

It started with “Safe Space”, which begins the CD. Oddly enough, despite this being one of Her “starter” inductions, I’d never actually heard it before–She has me listen to “Voice” most of the time, instead. (“Voice” is considerably more intense than “Safe Space”, with amnesia suggestions and permanent triggers. I think She picked it over “Safe Space” because we’d already been trance-playing for quite some time before I listened to any of Her mp3s.) But there’s enough of an overlap, and I’m familiar enough with Her style and general imagery that I was able to go under very quickly and easily, and absorb the suggestions just as quickly and easily.

In theory, you’re supposed to wake up between the two tracks–She does bring the listener up out of trance at the end of “Safe Space”, before reinducing at the start of “Robotic Transformation”. (This way, once you’re fully conditioned to “Safe Space”, you can just skip it and get straight to the main event.) But in my case, I’m a) very used to ignoring the command to wake on Her recorded inductions, since I loop them while I sleep, and b) wearing a light and sound machine that is absolutely jackhammering at my brain at the time I heard the command to come out of trance.Β  So I just drifted straight along into the next section without ever really waking up.

The “Robotic Transformation” induction deserves special mention here, because it does some absolutely amazing things with multiple audio inputs that dropped me hard, even by my usual standards as a total cream-puff when it comes to resisting hypnosis. πŸ™‚ Lady Ru’etha does a long, slow, wonderful countdown from twenty to one, but in the background, you can just barely hear Her voice doing two looping ten-count inductions at a slightly quicker pace. So the overall effect is that you really quickly get confused as to exactly what number you’ve dropped down to, and that confusion makes you feel like you must have gone deeper into hypnosis because it’s hard to remember the numbers, and the second you believe you’ve gone deeper, you have, and before you know it your brain has pretty much just shut down completely. (Or at least, mine did.)

The actual “transformation” was interesting to me because it integrated so well with my other hypnotic suggestions–after all, Lady Ru’etha has been programming me literally for years with the “Obedience is pleasure” mantra, and so this felt very comfortable to me. She’s used many metaphors over the years to help my brain accept my brainwashing, and so the idea of programming my mind like a computer just fit right in. (And the imagery of the sequence, as She described me sitting in a programming chair that massaged me even as it brainwashed me, fit in with my real-life experiences in ways that make me suspect I enjoyed this one more than anyone else who listened to it. πŸ™‚ )

It was a very enjoyable experience (just how enjoyable, I’ll leave up to your imagination, wink wink nudge nudge) but as with all good things, eventually it ended and She brought me back up. Except that, um, I was still wearing the light and sound machine. Have I mentioned just how dangerously susceptible I am to those things? Seriously, it’s kind of scary just how hard they hit me. Even as I received a direct command to wake in my ears, my eyes were following an inescapable, overwhelming, unending induction that sand-blasted my resistance away. I just lay there, unable to even muster up the mental energy to reach six inches over and press the stop button on the machine before the program finally ended on its own. I’m not sure how long the machine ran after the CD ended, because my time sense was utterly wonky and I couldn’t look at a clock while my eyes were covered with brainwashing goggles. But it felt like I drifted in the endless waves of light for a very long time.

Of course, I suspect my sneaky subconscious fully knew the program would end all on its own, and it didn’t want to let even a second of enjoyable trance slip away from me. So it just convinced me that I was helpless to stop the machine, because it knew I’d be perfectly safe to let the machine stop itself. Even so, I’m damn glad that thing doesn’t have an “auto-repeat” setting. It’s not something I want to put to the test.

So I think that Lady Ru’etha will be quite satisfied with the things She’s done to my brain tonight, even if She won’t find out about them until She wakes up and reads this entry. Next time, I’ll find out whether or not the “Kittenfur” CD works just as well. I can’t say I’ve ever had much interest in being a cat, but then again, I don’t really know what I’m into until She tells me.

Reposted: The Hypnosis Panel, Part Two

February 28, 2009

So when I left off at the end of my last post, I’d just come out of a very nice hypnotic trance, and was in the midst of a small but enthusiastic gathering of people interested in hypnosis. We were chatting–not about anything in particular, just talking–and the moderator of the panel did drop a few people every now and then, just to demonstrate a particular point or two, but for the most part it was just fun conversation.

Which was nice and all, but the group trance had really just whetted my appetite for more, and there was a Procyon sound-and-light machine sitting on the table, complete with earbuds. So I asked if I could try it out, and the moderator said, “Sure! Go right ahead!”

For those of you who’ve never seen one of these, it’s basically a little Walkman-type device with a bunch of settings that I, personally, didn’t fiddle with. But in addition to the audio output jack, it’s got another little output jack that plugs into what looks like a pair of wraparound sunglasses…but these glasses have a lighting display on the inside, one that can flash different colors. Wearing the device necessitated removing my own glasses, of course, but that’s generally something I like to do when I’m going to be in trance anyway, so it wasn’t really a problem. I put the earbuds in my ears, put the glasses over my eyes, laid down on the chairs again, and pressed start.

Almost instantly, I closed my eyes. Not because I immediately went under or anything–it’s just that it’s a very bright set of lights, right next to your eyeballs, and you’re really not supposed to try to look at them with your eyes open. The light is bright enough to penetrate straight through your eyelids, forming patterns that seem to be all around you. And since you’ve already got your eyes closed, there’s a sense of disorientation to it–you keep thinking that you want to close your eyes to block out the light, but then you remember that your eyes are already closed. It feels strangely inevitable, and inescapable.

The sounds playing through the earbuds felt very “background” compared to the light; the light was like a jackhammer to my brain, forming patterns that my eyes just seemed to follow all on their own without any conscious effort on my part. They moved from side to side, then pulsed for a while right in between my eyes, then they seemed to form a tunnel that drew my attention deeper into it, then they seemed to approach me, like I was walking towards a solid wall of light…

It was a very intense trance experience for me. The inescapable quality of the whole thing just hit me in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever gotten from a trance without a living person acting as operator. Over the years, my love of reading has made me very good at shutting out sounds I don’t want to pay attention to (along with my dad’s love of country music on long car trips, of course) so hypnosis recordings, while nice, are things I can snap out of relatively easily. But this was omnipresent, blinding, and just so powerful that I pretty much shut down completely.

Even after the program stopped, I was way too deep to wake up right away. I just lay there for I don’t know how long (I think I found out later it was something like forty-five minutes), just blissed out and calm, unable to really muster up the energy to snap myself out of the trance. I recall hearing the moderator ask, “Are the lights still flashing behind those glasses?” Someone responded with a no, and she said, “OK. He seems happy.”

I finally snapped out of it when I heard the moderator wake someone else up (she was demonstrating a different little toy on them.) If I hadn’t heard that, I don’t know how long I would have just lain there. Well, OK, probably just until the moderator came to check on me directly, or until I really needed to pee, but that doesn’t sound too dramatic, now does it?

(Those of you who are also on the Mind Control Forums will notice that this device has already showed up in one of my stories. Some of my other experiences on the panel will be showing up in stories, albeit much more heavily fictionalized.)

Later, I played with the Procyon again, this time while hooking it up to another machine called a Thoughtstream. The Thoughtstream is another Walkman-sized device, and this one has a little strap that goes around your palm and measures (somehow) just how deep in trance you are. Needless to say, I wanted to know just how hard that machine had hammered my brain.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to find out. The discussion was winding down, and the moderator needed to wake me up…and when she tapped my arm, it had absolutely no effect at all. The lights were still there, I was still lost in them, and when she tried to bring me back up, the lights just brought me right back down again. She finally needed to just unplug everything to grab my attention, which erased my “high score”.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening. I learned that I’m still a Doctor Who fan, even under hypnosis; I learned that light and sound machines are a dangerous addiction for me; and I had a fun time being hypnotized. And I hope you had fun reading about it all!