Posts Tagged ‘mushy stuff’

Behind the Music: Voices Carry

June 17, 2011

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done one of these, but you might remember that it’s a series about how my real-life experiences with hypnosis informed different stories I’ve written. This time, I’m going to discuss “Voices Carry”.

Actually, the reason I haven’t posted about this one is that to some extent, I kind of already did. Back in the first incarnation of this blog, when it was on HypnoThoughts, I posted a fairly detailed recounting of a truly wonderful experience I had with Lady Ru’etha during a brief layover She had in the Twin Cities. We had some lovely public tranceplay, some delicious snuggling, some quiet conversation…it was a very special day.

What I didn’t mention in that post is that I immediately left the airport and headed for work after Lady Ru’etha got onto Her plane, feeling like I was lighter than air the whole way. And the song playing on the radio was, you guessed it, “Voices Carry”. And I’m so bouncy that everything sounds romantic, even a song that’s very clearly about a romance where one partner is ashamed of letting anyone know that he’s dating the other, and I’m doing my usual thing of thinking about the title of whatever song I’m listening to on the radio and wondering if it could be made into a story…and then it hits me. We were doing public play. What if someone had overheard Her hypnotizing me and gotten drawn in?

From there, the story flowed very naturally and organically. The main character became a woman, because hello, cute woman being seduced by hypnotic Goddess = awesome! The story became a very thinly-veiled version of what actually happened (except that in the story, Lady Ru’etha was heading home, not heading out on a trip, because I thought it lent more of an interesting tone to the ending knowing that the main character lived in the same city as the hypnodomme. Oh, and the places are all fictionalized.) And the end result is probably one of my favorite stories.

OK, it wasn’t that short. But it would have been a lot longer if I hadn’t already described most of it.

An Ode to Melting

October 21, 2010

There’s something so wonderful about the way that hypnosis intensifies intimacy. It’s something that’s hard to describe, but it’s definitely part of why I’m such an evangelist about hypnosis; putting yourself in rapport with your emotional partner makes the two of you feel like you’re melting into each other. It happened the other night, after an extremely blissful hypnotic session between myself and the recently-returned Lady Ru’etha (yes, there were blissful hypnotic sessions when She got back home. Is anyone really surprised? 🙂 )

We were lying in bed, and when I held her, the rapport that we’d established made the simple act of spooning feel like something more. It felt like there was no space between us, as though we fit perfectly into each other like two puzzle pieces snapping together. We held each other for a long moment, both of us still half-tranced (it’s a little-known fact that the hypnotist goes into a light trance most of the time when hypnotizing, simply because they’re so focused on the reactions of their subject) and not thinking about anything in particular. We talked a little, but mostly we just enjoyed the sensation for as long as we could until one of us needed to shift position. It’s a beautiful, intimate feeling that I wish everyone would get the chance to experience at some point. Hypnosis makes just holding each other better. Isn’t that something you’d want to try?

This Is a Little Hard To Explain

September 23, 2010

Is anyone familiar with the book, “How To Talk Minnesotan”, by Howard Mohr? It’s a bit old, and really is a Midwestern humor book that I don’t expect many people to know. But the last chapter describes the “Minnesotan Long Goodbye”, the way that people have in Minnesota of extending their farewells for hours, sometimes even days, right out to the driveway for one last chat through the driver’s side window before they finally leave.

Yesterday, after a truly glorious session of hypnosis and brainwashing and associated goodness, Lady Ru’etha and I were cuddling. We both kept mentioning that we really needed to get up and get to doing stuff, because She was leaving for a three-week trip and needed to go pick up some last-minute stuff. But the cuddling was so nice we couldn’t quite seem to muster up the energy to get moving.

I described the phenomenon as the “Minnesotan Long Afterglow”. She insisted I blog it.

Nobody would believe our lives. 🙂

The Big Day Approaches…

April 21, 2010

Even as I type this, Lady Ru’etha (and one of Her most devoted pets) are currently heading out in a large moving truck from Her secret lair out east to make the long journey to join me here! It probably goes without saying that I’m tremendously excited about this, and I hope that in weeks to come, you’ll see some of the changes reflected on this blog. (For one thing, you’ll probably see a pretty big increase in the number of posts written while in trance.)

Safe wishes to Lady Ru’etha and CopperHeron on their journey are welcome, here or in Twitter.

The Rewards of Writing

December 2, 2009

Lady Ru’etha commented to me this morning over the phone that I should respond to comments on my blog more often. And I don’t doubt that She’s right (boy, is that an overused phrase around here…) It’s just that I’m never quite sure what to say. “Thank you!” seems both so obvious as to forbear saying, while at the same time always seeming so trite as to be almost insulting. (And I always worry that it will sound less sincere with every repetition, despite being deep and heart-felt every time.)

So instead, I’m writing about what it means to get comments. Your comments, specifically. (This is an old writerly trick to get you feeling personally involved in the story I’m telling, here. I’m hoping it will work anyway.) What does it mean to hear from a reader?

Everything. Everything in the world. Writing is an act of desperation in some ways, taking a piece of your soul and giving it to someone else. (And I mean that in the literal sense. I think of my writing as an attempt to share with others what it means to think like I do, and if there’s a better description for the soul than that, I don’t know it.) And the only reward for that act that’s worth having is the knowledge that another person accepted that piece of your soul into themselves. Whether it’s something deep and meaningful, like “True Colors” (probably my magnum opus as far as my short stories are concerned) or something light and silly like this blog, it still matters just as deeply. We writers want to get paid for our writing (as witnessed by my selling my books, shameless plug shameless plug) but that’s just because we can’t eat praise. Actual feedback trumps money every day.

And the fact that it’s erotica makes the act of giving feedback all the more precious, because I know that it takes an act of courage to admit to liking stories involving not just sex, but sex that involves a deeply personal fetish like mind control. (My original comment on the subject went something like, “Telling Neil Gaiman you like his stories means that you enjoyed his cunning use of wordplay, his deep and insightful themes, and his emotional insights into human nature. Telling me you like my stories means admitting you masturbated.”) So every letter I get, every review I get (yes, even the bad ones), every comment I get is immensely important to me. Other forms of feedback, like website hits (and yes, sales reports) are nice, because they show people are reading. But listening to people talk about my stories, knowing that I touched them emotionally? It means everything in the world to me. I save every piece of fanmail I get.

So seriously, with the greatest of sincerity, now that you’ve gotten this little explanation as to what it means when I say it, to everyone who’s ever commented on anything I’ve written…

Thank you.

I Am Thankful

November 27, 2009

About nine years ago…almost exactly nine years ago, in fact…I bought a compilation CD of 80s hits. It was a sheer whim, an impulse purchase based on the fact that the CD had “Whip It” by Devo on there and I hadn’t heard that song in ages. The CD was a fun listen, and somewhere in my brain a connection clicked between the song “She Blinded Me With Science” (“…she’s poetry in motion/when she turns her eyes to me/as deep as any ocean/as sweet as any harmony…”) and my private fetish for erotic mind control. I decided, again on a whim, to try writing a few stories myself, using the songs on the CD as an inspiration. I justified it as a writing exercise, and almost a private joke.


My first story was posted December 2nd, 2000. A few weeks later, as I kept up with the exercise (aided by a local radio station that switched for a while to an all-80s format), I got a piece of fanmail from a woman who seemed friendly, funny, and deeply apprciative of my writing. She mentioned having a boyfriend, but I decided I wanted to get to know Her as a friend because smart, funny people who accept your weird kinks don’t come along every day. Then, a few days later, She mentioned that She also had a girlfriend, and I thought, “Does that mean what I hope it means?”


A couple of months after that, She hypnotized me for the first time, and I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out that She turned me on so bad I couldn’t think of anything else. And She accepted that, too. We met for the first time, a few months later (after what turned into daily phone calls) and it was genuinely love at first sight. (Technically, I suppose, it was genuinely love before first sight.) We had our first date at DragonCon 2001, dancing together to “One Night In Bangkok”, watching “The Lost Boys” while snuggling, and trance-playing in the hallways when nobody was watching.


Last June, She clicked a collar around my wrist for the first time. This February, we exchanged whispered vows to each other in bed at Dark Odyssey. It won’t ever be recognized in a court of law, but as far as we’re concerned, I am one of Her husbands as well as one of Her pets.


My relationship with Lady Ru’etha is a source of constant joy and happiness, and today, when we’re talking about giving thanks, I just want to thank whatever providence steered me to that tiny, silly whim nine years ago. Because so much of the bliss in my life stems from that.