Posts Tagged ‘my conditioning’

So Right Then…

December 9, 2012

I should probably start by explaining why I haven’t posted in about a year.

It’s actually nothing particularly exciting, really. I’m at a job that is more intensive in mental effort (my previous job, which I was laid off from in 2010, was high on physical effort but very low on mental, so I could write these posts in my head, along with my stories and anything else that came to mind.) I don’t have as much headspace for this as I used to. What I do have, I devote to my actual life of pleasing my Goddess, which is more important than writing even though there is overlap. This may change. It hopefully will change. But it’s why I haven’t been around here much.

Meanwhile, I will share an anecdote with you that should hope to illuminate that while I am silent, it is the happy kind of silence. The other day, I was driving Goddess home and I said to Her, “I think we should cut down the side roads. I think that the highway is about to get very congested.” She said, “I was just about to say the same thing.”

I said, “Isn’t it great that we think so much alike, even on the little things?” She replied, “It’s probably because I’m occupying so much of your brain.”

There’s definitely a happy there, and my readers will understand just what it is.

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The One Time I Can’t Be Hypnotized

July 1, 2011

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while might have gotten the idea that when it comes to resisting hypnosis, I’m a marshmallow…especially when it comes to Lady Ru’etha. Those of you who have gotten that idea would be abso-freaking-lutely right. I am a total marshmallow. I am totally unable to resist Lady Ru’etha. Absolutely totally no resistance at all…most of the time.

But when I’m in the car, none of Lady Ru’etha’s tricks work. Her most hypnotic, sensual words bounce right off my skull. Even Her triggers don’t do anything. I am completely and totally impervious to Lady Ru’etha’s hypnosis, indeed to any hypnosis, whenever I’m behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

Why? Because Lady Ru’etha commanded it. Back at the beginning of our relationship, She put in several commands designed to ensure my safety and reassure me that She did, in fact, have my best interests at heart. One of them was that whenever I was driving, I would be immune to hypnosis and would not go into a trance no matter what…because trance and driving don’t mix. (General rule of thumb, there: Trance and driving DO NOT MIX. Fun safety tip from your friendly neighborhood Jukebox!)

She’s had fun a few times testing Her command just to make sure that I won’t go under. I never have. It makes me feel safer…which means, in turn, that I go under that much easier when I’m not in the car. Because hypnosis is ultimately a bond of trust…and by showing me that She cares about my safety, She has made that bond that much stronger.

An Amusing Anecdote

May 21, 2011

Lady Ru’etha and I are in the midst of watching ‘The She-Creature’ on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I wanted to make sure She saw this one because it’s got a freaking metric ton of hypnosis (it’s an old black-and-white movie made during the whole “Bridey Murphy” recovering-past-lives-through-hypnosis craze, something about which I will talk more in a future blog entry.) And it features use after use after use of one of the MST3K gang’s lovable catchphrases, shouting “SLEEEEEEEP!” a la Bela Lugosi in Bride of the Monster. Any time there’s an over-elaborate, drawn-out hypnosis sequence, they short-circuit it with a shout of “SLEEEEEEEEEEP!”

Lady Ru’etha suggested (jokingly) that the two of us should go to a signing by one of the MST3K actors (probably Kevin Murphy, who did the majority of the shouts.) She would ask him to try the “SLEEEEEEP!” shout on me, which he would no doubt obligingly do…to no effect. Then She would look at him and say, “Hmm, I think I know what I’ve been doing wrong.” Then She’d turn to me and shout, “SLEEEEEEEEEP!” Having previously made sure it was a trigger, of course.

Thankfully, She’d never actually do it (because it would actually work.) But it was quite funny to hear.

Rapport Is Wonderful

April 20, 2011

It’s genuinely amazing, sometimes, just how much my conditioning has put me into rapport with Lady Ru’etha. The other night, we were cuddling together in bed, and I was reading to Her (this is actually pretty common for us. She likes the way I read, and I like…well, I like things that She likes. πŸ™‚ ) While we were so cuddling, She was touching me in some very enjoyable ways in some very enjoyable places. But it didn’t actually disrupt my reading at all.

The second I was done with the selection I was reading, I dropped into trance instantly and started to give off little whimpers of pleasure. My whole mindset changed, focusing on just what She was doing to my body for the first time (and my body started, um, reacting in ways that it hadn’t been when I was reading.) Understand, She wasn’t doing anything different to me than She had when I was reading: It was simply that on a subconscious level, I understood that I had a service I was performing, and it wasn’t time to feel that pleasure to its fullest extent and react accordingly. But as soon as I was done, my subconscious understood that it was time to do, um…other things. Very happy other things. πŸ™‚

It’s nice, knowing that my conditioning has taken root so deeply that She doesn’t need inductions or even triggers (although She still enjoys using them, of course.) All that’s really needed by now is an understanding of Her will…and after almost a decade of knowing each other, my understanding is pretty well honed.

Sweet Nothings

January 16, 2011

Last night, in a wonderful “happy accident”…well, technically, I’m pretty sure She planned it, and I’m certain it would have happened later if it hadn’t happened last night…but last night, Lady Ru’etha wound up taking a long, late nap, and as such was much less tired than I was when it got on towards the end of the evening. She sent me to bed before Her, and I was sound asleep by the time She got to bed.

So She hypnotized me.

There’s a whole different feeling to being tranced from a sleep state as opposed to a waking state. Even though sleep and trance are two different states, the process of emerging from sleep causes your brainwaves to pass through most of the trance states on your way up. And when there’s an expert hypnotist there, rousing you from sleep with a hypnotic induction, the result feels a lot like suddenly finding yourself in the deepest possible trance you could ever have imagined. Because you start to emerge from sleep, but before you can get any kind of traction, your brain says, “Hey, wait, I should be in trance!” And so you are.

As a result there are parts of it that I don’t remember. Lady Ru’etha tells me that I responded to Her verbally, so it wasn’t just that I hadn’t woken up yet, but I was just so deep that most of it is resting very comfortably in the back of my mind. I do remember that it was probably the deepest trance I’ve ever experienced; there were absolutely no filters at all between my mind and Her words. She said it, I thought it, full stop. Which led to some extremely wonderful experiences between the two of us. πŸ˜‰

Afterwards, She held me and sent me right back down into sleep without ever really getting back into anything close to a waking state. It was a blissful, restful experience that melted the boundaries between trance and sleep perfectly, and oh yes, there was some very nummy brainwashing involved. I hope everyone gets the chance to experience that some day, because it’s just too nice to keep to myself.

This Is a Little Hard To Explain

September 23, 2010

Is anyone familiar with the book, “How To Talk Minnesotan”, by Howard Mohr? It’s a bit old, and really is a Midwestern humor book that I don’t expect many people to know. But the last chapter describes the “Minnesotan Long Goodbye”, the way that people have in Minnesota of extending their farewells for hours, sometimes even days, right out to the driveway for one last chat through the driver’s side window before they finally leave.

Yesterday, after a truly glorious session of hypnosis and brainwashing and associated goodness, Lady Ru’etha and I were cuddling. We both kept mentioning that we really needed to get up and get to doing stuff, because She was leaving for a three-week trip and needed to go pick up some last-minute stuff. But the cuddling was so nice we couldn’t quite seem to muster up the energy to get moving.

I described the phenomenon as the “Minnesotan Long Afterglow”. She insisted I blog it.

Nobody would believe our lives. πŸ™‚

Review: Lady Ru’etha’s Voice

May 14, 2010

It’s a bit odd, really, that I haven’t reviewed Lady Ru’etha’s Voice. After all, She gave me a copy of the rough recording long before She made it commercially available, and I’ve listened to it all night every night when I sleep for years now. When She made the finished version, She swapped it out for the rough version (which I kept for sentimental reasons) and that’s been putting me to sleep for a long while now, too. And as previously noted, I don’t have a problem reviewing Lady Ru’etha’s CDs; sure, in the interests of full disclosure, I’ll mention that I’m sitting on the floor next to Her right now, blissfully enjoying Her company, but I know She wouldn’t want me to lie about Her CDs. If I say they’re awesome, it’s because I mean it.

So why haven’t I reviewed it? Because it works, that’s why. Voice contains amnesia suggestions, designed to make the actual content of the CD fade into a mellow, peaceful fog of warmth and happiness and leave you just feeling good all over when you wake up. And despite my initial reservations about memory play (I had some bad experiences with a previous hypnodomme, and Lady Ru’etha has been very gentle about helping me overcome them) they’ve worked quite well. A little too well, in some respects…I have a vague notion about the suggestions She’s put in, but every time I try to really think about it, it just sounds too much like work to me and I give up before I even start to try. I know that there’s a suggestion to obey anything She precedes with “Voice commands,” because She’s used it on me (and again, it works!) But big chunks of it just fade into the yummy warm white fog.

So if the thought of going really, really deep over the course of a solid hour, emerging with gradually diminishing memories every time and a warm sense of contentment and a deeper submission to a hypnotic Goddess, well…this is the CD for you. If not…um…you’re really reading this blog? Huh.

Permission

May 7, 2010

Looking back, I don’t actually think I’ve talked about the phrase, “I give you permission” before. (Well, not literally looking back. I’m writing this off-line to post later. But I’m trying awfully hard to remember, and I think it’s a new topic.) It’s a very powerful phrase, one that Lady Ru’etha has been using quite a bit on me of late, and I think it’s worth discussing.

Because it is very powerful, especially in the context of hypnotic D/s play that tends to be such a favorite for myself and my readers. The subconscious tends to respond best to commands that let it do what it really wants to do; it’s the conscious mind that worries about the obstacles to doing them. When the hypnotist says, “I give you permission,” they’re relaxing the apprehensions of the conscious mind by suggesting that what the subconscious mind wants is allowed, which makes the suggestion sink in deeper because there’s no resistance. It’s alright to go further into trance; you have permission. It’s alright to feel good; you have permission. The phrase diminishes discord between the conscious and subconscious self, putting the subject into a more relaxed and suggestible state. And at the same time, it reinforces the authority of the hypnotist in a non-threatening way. It’s comfortable and kind and welcoming–how can “I give you permission” sound menacing? But it carries with it the implication that the hypnotist is the one who makes that decision. It puts the hypnotist in charge, even as it emphasizes the essentially benign nature of that authority.

And it’s tremendously versatile, too. The hypnotist can always give permission to the subject to do whatever they want to do, whatever they’re doing already. It’s very comforting to hear that whatever you’re doing right now is something you’re allowed to do. In fact, Lady Ru’etha has said more than once that the entire process of hypnosis can be summed up as giving the subconscious mind permission to do what it really wants to do–trance is a state the subconscious wants to achieve, and permission helps it find that state. Hearing that simple, powerful phrase–“I give you permission”–helps the subject melt into trance easier, and go along with suggestions better. And if you’re anything like me, that sounds pretty attractive.

“Snooze”

April 7, 2010

I mentioned it previously, but I figured maybe I should go ahead and explain the extremely amusing morning Lady Ru’etha and I had at Dark Odyssey. It was a late night for Her the night before (no, not for the reasons you’re thinking–this was the night before the con) and She had asked me to wake Her up in the morning so we could go to the gym and have a nice, leisurely breakfast before registration opened. I slept fairly lightly (I always do, the first night of a con, because my body is still adjusting to a diurnal schedule), and at the appropriate time, I gently shook Her and said, “Wake up, love.”

Those of you who have read the Liner Notes to the anthology that contains “Wake Up Call” (yes, you privileged few who have bought my book) know that it was based on the very real, very difficult experience of trying to get my Lady up when She hasn’t had enough sleep. πŸ™‚ She rolled over, She mumbled incoherently, She squinched Her eyes shut and pretended I wasn’t there…and finally, I said, “Goddess, You did ask me to be Your alarm clock.”

And She opened Her eyes and said, “Yes, I did. Snooze.”

Now keep in mind, She’d never actually installed this as a formal trigger or anything. There was no brainwashing session where She explained to me that when She said the word “Snooze,” I would go into a light trance for nine minutes, floating and drifting quietly and peacefully before coming back to wakefulness on my own. But I was thinking of myself as an alarm clock at the time, metaphorically. And I knew what a snooze button did, metaphorically. And when She said that word, the metaphor became very, very real all of a sudden as I went under.

Nine minutes later, I woke up and returned to trying to wake Her up.

“Snooze.”

Nine minutes later…”Snooze.”

Finally, nine minutes after that, She was awake enough that She didn’t just automatically trigger me, and I was able to finally rouse Her. The day was, perhaps, a little more hectic as a result…but totally worth it. πŸ™‚

Review: Chakra Capture

March 27, 2010

I was actually planning on holding off on posting this until my usual Wednesday post; after all, I don’t want to spoil my readers with daily posts when I can’t deliver consistently. πŸ™‚ But Lady Ru’etha happens to be holding a sale on Her CDs and MP3s, and it ends Wednesday. So I figured I’d post this now, when it might be of some use to my readers. (Also note the “Lady Ru’etha’s CDs” tag on this review; clicking it will lead you to my previous reviews of Her CDs. Oh, and note the “Realm of Bliss” link in the sidebar, which will lead you to Her website where you can buy the CDs that are on sale once you’ve read the reviews. That, um, live in the house that Jack built.)

As always, I will offer the disclosure that I am not an unbiased reviewer. I am Lady Ru’etha’s pet, and She owns me completely and has total control of my mind, waking or sleeping. I can’t resist Her suggestions, hypnotic or otherwise. This is something you will have to take into account when you read me saying wonderful things about Her hypnotic talents. However, I will also point out that the very CD I’m about to review has a hypnotic suggestion that compels honesty to Her, and I can’t resist Her hypnotic suggestions. πŸ™‚ When She asks for a review, She gets my honest opinions. When She asks me to post a review, it’s an honest one.

And my honest review of Chakra Capture: YUM. πŸ™‚ At least, “YUM” as far as I’m concerned; this one is a pretty intense brainwashing experience, and might not be to everyone’s tastes. That isn’t to say that She’s mean; Lady Ru’etha doesn’t do humiliation play, and She is soft and sensual and welcoming even as She completely subjugates your will. But it is about complete surrender, and you should understand that before you listen.

But if that’s your kink, you aren’t going to find a better way to indulge it than this. Lady Ru’etha explains the centers of power in your body, the different aspects of you that they control, then takes them and makes them Hers one by one. By the end, everything from your will to your voice to your sex drive belongs to Her, and you love it. (Um, especially the sex drive. It might have been a mistake to listen to this one on a day when She put me “on restriction”, if you take my meaning. I’m still squirming. πŸ™‚ )

It’s lovely, it’s sensual, it’s imaginative (so many “progressive inductions” are just, “Ooh, look, your feet are getting sleepy. Oh, now your calves. Now your knees. Now the kneecap, oh, hang on, there’s the lower three inches of your thighs…”) If you’re looking for something that really takes your will away, without seeming scary, mean, or dangerous, this is perfect for you. My only caution is that it really will leave you wanting more.

And you know, me and my recruitment fetish would feel just terrible if I found out you became addicted to Lady Ru’etha as a result. πŸ™‚