Posts Tagged ‘my conditioning’

Yummy Morning Hypnosis

March 25, 2010

Although to me, of course, it was “yummy evening hypnosis”. I called Lady Ru’etha before I went to bed (one of my many duties is to be Her human alarm clock. It works pretty well, although it worked better before She installed “snooze” as a trance trigger.)

(You think I’m joking…)

Anyhow, I called to wake Her up, and She woke up feeling quite mischievous. After a few minutes of quiet conversation and phone-snuggling, She hypnotized me, and we had a very lovely tranceplay session that I don’t entirely remember. πŸ™‚ I do remember that She took away my ability to say anything other than “Yes, Goddess,” at one point. There’s something so magnificently erotic about being unable to respond with anything but “Yes, Goddess.” Every time She would tell me something, I had to agree, because I didn’t have any other words except “Yes, Goddess.” I was absolutely helpless to resist Her, because the only thing I knew how to say was “Yes, Goddess.”

By the end, I was shouting it quite loudly. πŸ™‚

It was such a delightful session that when Lady Ru’etha suggested I immortalize it with a blog post, I leapt to comply at once. In fact, I’m sure you can guess what I said to Her. πŸ™‚

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Hypnosis and Tantra

March 24, 2010

Another one of the many many many fantastic experiences I had at Dark Odyssey this year involved Tantra; I’ll probably need to dole this out piecemeal over the course of a few posts, because it’s kind of a big topic to get into, but I’ll start by explaining what Tantra is for those who have only heard of it as “that thing that lets Sting have sex for, like, seven hours”. (Obvious and immediate disclaimer: I am not an expert on Tantra. I am, in fact, about as far away from being an expert as you can be, having only spent parts of a weekend fiddling around with it. I not only accept, but encourage correction on anything I get wrong here.)

Contrary to popular belief, Tantra really isn’t about sex. It’s a religious philosophy that involves sex, and that’s kind of made it “about sex” in Western culture because to us, religion and sex tend to be such polar opposites that when a religious practice involves sex, we kind of tend to focus on it to the exclusion of all else. πŸ™‚ But it’s basically a philosophy that believes that the god Shiva and the goddess Shakti are constantly providing the universe with energy through their lovemaking, and that you can use rituals to evoke and channel that energy yourself. (Or with your partner/s.)

But lovemaking doesn’t just mean “sex”. This is where Sting got all tripped up. πŸ™‚ Tantric lovemaking involves focusing on the moment, really being aware of your partner and doing more than just, um, thrusting and grunting, as it were. The first hour of lovemaking could be something as simple as staring into each other’s eyes, or touching each other’s hands and focusing on the feeling of their skin against yours. The point is that you build arousal slowly, and you let it build for a long time, in order to achieve an altered state of consciousness and touch the divine.

Apart from all the divine stuff, this should sound pretty familiar to readers of my blog. πŸ™‚ I’m actually something of a skeptic, and not a very religious person; my general spiritual leanings run along a spectrum from “lapsed Catholic” to “Catholic heretic” to “deist” to “agnostic” to “atheist”, depending on my state of mind. But Douglas Adams wrote a very good essay (reprinted in ‘The Salmon of Doubt’) about separating the literal aspects of a belief from the philosophy that underpins it, and since reading it, I’ve tried to keep an open mind about esoteric teachings (while trying not to keep an empty one.)

Even so, I’ll admit that I was a little bit nervous going into Dark Odyssey. Lady Ru’etha had told me She wanted to try Tantra, and I was willing to give it a go, but I really wasn’t sure if I’d find anything of value to it…and I was worried that She’d be upset if I couldn’t see what was so fascinating about it to Her. But as always, I’m game for anything She wants me to try. (Thank God She hasn’t asked me to eat escargots.)

As it turned out, I was worried about nothing. The philosophy of Tantra translates very well to my experiences with hypnosis. It’s all about achieving a state of focus and altered consciousness, and experiencing a profound and mystical connection to the divine as a result. This is all very familiar to me from being hypnotized, perhaps even moreso than the usual hypnotic subject because so much of my tranceplay with Lady Ru’etha is erotic. Basically, I found out that I’ve been doing Tantra all along. They just have different words for everything. πŸ™‚

Being Green

March 12, 2010

Today, I’d like to…um, pretend that it’s still Wednesday, when this post was supposed to go up. I can do that, right? πŸ™‚

But seriously, today, I’d like to talk about a subject that’s near and dear to my heart–BDSM. I’m only a couple weeks back from the wonderfully overwhelming experience that is every year’s Dark Odyssey, and my thoughts are still somewhat turned towards a mix of BDSM and hypnosis rather than purely the latter, so I figured I’d have a little chat about an often-neglected tool in a dominant’s toolbox. (And no, it’s not nipple clips. No, not rope, either. No, not the dildo–I said “often-neglected”, people! How often does a dominant neglect the fur-lined handcuffs?)

That tool is the word “green”. Its counterparts, “yellow” and “red” are ones that just about everyone in the BDSM scene is familiar with, even if they hope never to use them; “yellow” is the common code for, “Something’s wrong here and you need to put things on hold while we figure out what it is,” and “red” is the common code for, “I’m freaking out/in genuine pain/losing circulation to my hands and we need to stop the scene right now and let me go.” These are important, necessary tools for conducting BDSM, and with very few exceptions, any dominant who insists that they don’t need them is a douchebag. (If you think you’re one of the exceptions, you’re probably not.)

But a lot of people never really think to use “green” as a code for “Whatever you’re doing right now is wonderful, and I love it, and I would like this to be a regular part of our play together!” Which is a shame, because one of the big secrets of being a top is that dominants aren’t really filled with god-like wisdom and a perfect, innate sense of what it is that will make their submissive whimper in delight. (Except Lady Ru’etha, of course. πŸ™‚ ) Dominants are always expected to be the one to come up with ideas about what to do, and a lot of the time, they’re winging it. Giving them positive feedback is a huge plus.

This isn’t the same thing as “topping from the bottom”, of course. That’s the wonderful thing about it. “Green” isn’t demanding or pushy; it’s just an expression of sheer, unmitigated bliss at whatever the dominant is doing to you at that moment. Your dominant can use it as a baseline, something they can go back to when they want to without surrendering control of the scene to the person being whipped/flogged/spanked/tied up/insert kinky thing here. Or there. Or…oh, goodness, will it even fit there? πŸ™‚

In my particular case, Lady Ru’etha has literally installed a post-hypnotic command in my brain forcing me to say “green” when She finds something I like. The word just slips out all on its own, and She has said many times how much easier it is for Her to top me after She installed that trigger. Because She doesn’t have to guess at what I like from body language, She knows. It’s like a road-map to my brain. (She’s even made sure I know the sign language for “green”, “yellow” and “red” just in case I can’t speak for one reason or another. Which isn’t to say that it’s perfect…one of the workshops at Dark Odyssey left Her in the dark because everything She was doing to me felt so good that my hand was permanently locked on “green” for a solid 90 minutes, and I was way too blissed-out to talk. Of course, neither of us really minded the imperfect communication there. πŸ™‚ )

So remember to encourage your subs to use “green” when you’re topping them. Or if you are a sub, try to use “green” when your dominant finds something you like, and be ready to explain why you’re moaning it out to them. πŸ™‚ Because sometimes when it comes to BDSM, “go” is just as important as “stop”. Heck, maybe even moreso!

“Good Boy”

February 24, 2010

Lady Ru’etha has commanded me to describe exactly what it feels like when She calls me a good boy. It feels like a finger, caressing me at the base of my spine and stroking all the way up right into my mind. The finger gives me delightful shivers of pleasure echoing all the way out from where it touches, all the way through my body out to the tips of my fingers and the tips of my toes.

It happens quickly, though. It’s not a slow, lingering touch; instead, it’s a delicious kiss of pleasure that melts my mind and body in an instant, leaving me warm and happy. The more often She says it, the stronger the warm feelings are and the longer they last; sometimes, She enjoys saying it again and again, just to leave me quivering and whimpering with bliss. It makes me want to be Her good boy always, and I’m happy that I can be.

And this weekend, I get to find lots of fun ways to be Her good boy at Dark Odyssey. πŸ™‚ Feel free to say hello if you happen to be going; I’ll be the one wearing the “Lady R’s Jukebox” nametag! Because I am Hers. And it’s wonderful.

Le Pant, Le Pant, Le Pant

February 4, 2010

Last weekend was hectic, the beginning of a long hectic period for myself and Lady Ru’etha that should last well into spring…but I know that’s no excuse for not blogging! So I’ll talk briefly about the insanity that was last weekend.

As She’s mentioned (and if you’re not following Her on Twitter and reading Her blog, why not? It’s not like it costs money…) She came for a visit last weekend, one that was nearly catastrophically disrupted by winter storms where She lives. She made it here at 1 AM, so utterly fried that I pretty much poured Her into bed, and then joined Her myself.

But that didn’t stop us from making dinner for a friend the next day, which involved (for me) switching around my sleep schedule to help with the preparations. This time, unlike CONVergence, She had me take naps to keep myself alert. One of the benefits of being at home instead of out at a con. πŸ™‚ The dinner went well, although there was not much hypno-play…although there was one wonderful, tantalizing moment where She put us under just long enough to remind us that future dinners would probably involve plenty of tranceplay. πŸ™‚

And then it was bedtime, and this time, She was a lot less fried than before. Which means that I actually don’t remember big chunks of it…well, that’s not true. I remember staring into Her eyes, and I know She was saying something all that time, and I know it was incredibly hot…but I don’t remember anything specific about what She said. Just that it was hot and good and that it went all the way down into my brain while my eyes locked on Hers. Oh! I remember that She took away my ability to talk. I couldn’t even respond, just listen, until She gave me permission. It was nummy. πŸ™‚

And then the next day was spent snuggling until it was time for the plane to take Her away again for a little while. We got a little weepy, but it’s nice to know that these goodbyes are among the last we’ll ever have. (Well, I mean, we’ll still say goodbye when one of us goes to the store or something. But it’s not really the same thing.)

And if that doesn’t sound hectic…trust me, it was more hectic than it sounds. πŸ™‚

Unison

January 16, 2010

You know, I’ve talked in the past (or, at least, I think I have) about how much fun the “call-and-response” mantra can be in tranceplay. (And, as always, “how much fun” is a euphemism for “how damn sexy”.) But it wasn’t until tonight that it clicked that there’s something even more fun. It takes just a little work to set up, but it’s very well worth it.

Lady Ru’etha has, over the years, installed a number of mantras in my brain–phrases that She repeats often enough, or that She has me repeat often enough that I know them by heart and have internalized them. Simple things like “obedience is pleasure”, “surrender is bliss”, et cetera. Just nice little ways to reinforce my submission that are very fun to repeat. (“Very” is a euphemism for “fucking”.)

One of these mantras is, “Everything I say makes so much sense.” She says it to me, I repeat “Everything You say makes so much sense,” and we can while away long, happy hours echoing that back and forth. (Hey, it beats reality shows.) Now, you might wonder how much I’ve internalized it…and in fact, sometimes so do I. Today I was thinking about it out loud, as it happens. We were discussing some minor domestic matters–right now, the linen closet is filled top to bottom with board games, card games, jigsaw puzzles, and so forth, and She suggested a couple of weeks back that She would prefer to have that space free for, well…linen. At the time, I said that it was one of my life-long dreams to have a closet full of games for my friends and family to come over and play, and that as much as I wanted to obey, it was going to take me a while to get over that.

Today, as I mentioned going to IKEA tomorrow and picking up a cabinet for said games, I commented on how comfortable I was with the idea. “Intellectually,” I said, “I can remember not wanting to do it, but emotionally, it’s just not there anymore. Because You said You wanted to move them, and everything You say…”

And She chimed in with perfect timing as we said in unison, “…makes so much sense.” And that? That was unbelievably fun. πŸ™‚ There’s something astonishingly thrilling about knowing that your mind has been so perfectly molded that your Owner can speak in that rapport with you, can predict your thoughts because She’s put them there. That’s a fantasy that is a lot of fun to indulge.

(In a later post, I might talk about other things She’s said that make so much sense to me now. If you’re good.)

My Ideal MP3

December 28, 2009

So Lady Ru’etha asked me a bit ago, “What would your ideal MP3 be?” (Specifically, She commanded me to blog about it. Which I refused to do, of course. πŸ™‚ ) It’s an interesting question. In some ways, the simple answer would be “Voice”. It’s very nice–seductive enough to be erotic, but not so much that you can’t just listen to it to relax. There’s programming in it, which is a major hot button of mine, but nothing unethical or dangerous, which is pretty much guaranteed to throw me out of any induction file. (Not to name any names, but there are some hypnodommes out there that I can’t really go deep to even though they have a nice technique, because I feel like I have to keep one ear open for their suggestions.)

But I’ll assume that for purposes of this question, She’s asking “What scenario would be something you want in an MP3?” (I’m also hoping She’ll gracefully accept the compliment in the previous paragraph.) I have to admit, I’m not sure. I generally enjoy MP3s more when they’re about programming and control over fantasy scenarios (which isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy fantasy scenarios, just that I think my favorite fantasy is me, being brainwashed by a sexy hypnodomme. πŸ™‚ ) So it’d involve programming. But programming for what?

As I say, “Voice” covers so many of the yummiest programming areas, and Her other MP3s cover many of the rest. (At this point, I’ll point to the linkroll at the top of the page, and remind you gently that She sells “Voice” and lots of other fun hypnosis CDs and MP3s, because I love the thought of enticing people to listen to Her hypnotic voice…) Hmm…I’d almost say a “Serial Recruitment” file, one that programs you to want to get others to listen to Her, but I know that She’d never record that one. It’s not ethical.

I think that probably, looking at what She’s recorded already and what She’s got coming up, my ideal “wishlist” MP3 would be one that focuses on freeze-play. Something that involves heavy programming, submission, and that wondrous feeling of helplessness that comes from being unable to move or even think. And of course, it does go without saying that my ideal MP3 would be one recorded by Lady Ru’etha. πŸ™‚

Behind the Music: Say It

December 23, 2009

And so once again, I pick up the irregular “Behind the Music” feature, which tells stories about how my real-life hypnosis experiences (which are what this blog is about) led me to write some of my stories (which are probably what led you here.) Today, we’re looking at “Say It”, which was a story I posted in November of 2008 (although, as with many of my stories, it was written much earlier. I think I wrote this one in mid-February of that same year.)

As with many of my stories, I kind of have to disappoint my readers and say that none of this happened…exactly. You’ve probably guessed from reading the story that Mark and Judy are myself and Lady Ru’etha, respectively, but we never had an experience like this, on a cruise or anywhere else. But Lady Ru’etha did meet a very nice couple at a hypnosis convention the weekend I wrote this, and She shared an interesting story with me about their meeting. (Which is, naturally, Hers to share or keep quiet, as She wishes.) She then dropped me into trance, and guided me through a fantasy of some of the things that might have happened, if I had been there and things had developed a certain way and we had wound up enjoying ourselves along the lines of…well, along the lines of this story. Then She had to go (She was still at the convention, and it was a very busy weekend for Her) and left me to float for a bit and enjoy the fantasy (while chanting the exact same mantra that wound up in the story) until my alarm went off.

When I woke up, I wrote this story. It isn’t one of my better ones, I think…it’s a little too eager to get to the fun, mainly because by the time I wrote it, so was I. πŸ™‚ But it is a notable first; I’d used a lot of words to describe hypnotized sex toys, but this is the first time I ever felt a strong enough connection to the character in the story that I actually described a character with the word “tranceslut”. That’s a pet name Lady Ru’etha uses for me when I’m under, and up until then it had felt too personal to share…but when I was typing out that mantra, it felt like it needed to be the exact same one I’d been repeating for the last hour. So I used it…and had a very hard time stopping my fingers when I got to the end of the story. πŸ™‚

My Turn To Talk

November 12, 2009

So now that both thrall and Lady Ru’etha have blogged about thrall’s visit yesterday, I guess it’s my turn. (Okay, I’m not actually guessing. Lady Ru’etha told me just a few moments ago. πŸ™‚ ) I’ll try to keep it as sensible and as chronological as possible, given the amount of trance I went through over the last couple of days. πŸ™‚

 

thrall arrived Tuesday afternoon, but there was a lot of stuff that Lady Ru’etha and I needed to do right around the time she got here, so we really weren’t able to settle in for a good four or five hours. (Luckily, thrall is both patient and a good conversationalist, so that time passed quickly, if busily.) After dinner, Lady Ru’etha took a seat next to thrall on the couch and I sat at Her feet, while Kitty and Reth Eldirood relaxed at the dinner table (they showed up a little late, and were still lightly snacking.)

As the conversation started to turn towards hypnosis, it seemed almost like thrall’s head was on a swivel…she wanted to see everything that was going on, but Lady Ru’etha was on her left, I was (more or less) in front of her, and the boys were on her right. So she’d be talking to the boys, and she’d spot out of the corner of her eye that Lady Ru’etha had made eye contact with me and was touching my nose, and she’d whip her head around to see whether or not a hypnotic induction was taking place. Then she’d whip her head back around, worried that she was being rude. (She wasn’t, though. We all understood perfectly, because we’ve all been in her shoes; that feeling of “OH WOW I AM ACTUALLY IN THE SAME ROOM WITH AN ACTUAL HYPNO-KINKY HYPNOTIST AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET ACTUALLY HYPNOTIZED YEEEEEP!” …it’s a pretty strong adrenalin hit. πŸ™‚ )

 

She did get her wish, by the way. Lady Ru’etha dropped me several times into light, brief trances, and She also demonstrated rapid inductions on both myself and Kitty. She dropped Reth into a trance so deep that he needed to lie down (mainly for therapeutic purposes, honestly. He’d had a mild cold/flu type of sickness, and was still pretty wiped.) At one point, once I’d gotten several tastes of trance, I actually broke down and begged Lady Ru’etha to hypnotize me. (And She obliged…) It was really obvious that thrall was practically ready to do the same thing, but I could tell that Lady Ru’etha wanted to give thrall a little privacy for her first experience. (She’d actually given me a post-hypnotic command earlier that day that when thrall went under, my eyes would close and I wouldn’t be able to open them until She commanded me to. This was done for privacy reasons, but turned out to be Significant.)

 

Winterrose dropped by briefly, and the conversation turned back geekwards for a while (we showed thrall “Time Crash”!) But eventually, everyone but Lady Ru’etha, thrall and I left. By then, thrall was just about bursting at the seams with anticipation, and frankly, although thrall might not have noticed it, so was Lady Ru’etha. πŸ™‚ She went and got a pocket-watch, arranged the two of us on the couch with thrall lying down, resting her head in my lap while She sat across from us in a chair. Then She started to dangle the watch in front of us, and…

 

I think I lasted about five seconds. Lady Ru’etha says thrall lasted about fifteen. (Keep in mind, this isn’t some sort of “power of the hypnotist” sort of deal. We both badly wanted to go into a trance, neither one of us was even remotely trying to resist, and if the conscious mind is already on board like that, hypnosis can be an insanely brief process.) Once we were both under, Lady Ru’etha really worked on the rapport that we were feeling, taking that feeling of connection that comes from experiencing trance in the same time and place (and being in a sort of comfortable, friendly physical contact) and literalizing it by having us experience a golden cable between the back of our necks, linking us together and sending data back and forth.

 

This was a very powerful image for me (and I think thrall would agree.) It worked with the “your eyes will close when thrall goes under” post-hyp I’d been given earlier, making me go into very deep trance whenever She hypnotized thrall. It deepened the trances we experienced and the sense of connection, making thrall more comfortable with my presence during what was a pretty seriously hot experience for her (I’m trying to keep confidences here, but come on–has anyone not figured out this was a turn-on for all of us?) And although I’m not sure how much she consciously realized it, once Lady Ru’etha connected us like that, thrall really started to internalize a lot of my hypnotic conditioning. When Lady Ru’etha would have me repeat a mantra, or use a trigger on me, it didn’t take long before that same conditioning was in thrall’s head too.

 

That evening was mostly about the deepening, the relaxation, and the general happy feeling of trance. The next morning, after we’d all woken up, was a little more…intense. πŸ™‚ We started trance early, almost as soon as we woke up, and passed a good few happy hours letting Lady Ru’etha hypnotize the both of us. She concentrated mostly on thrall, because we both understood that she’d only have the day with us and we both wanted her first experience to be memorable in all the right ways instead of the wrong ones, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t enjoying myself. I was in trance any time thrall was in trance, I was in a deep hypnotic rapport with thrall, and I felt pretty much everything she felt. This was very, very, very nice. πŸ™‚ thrall got to use the light and sound machine, and found it just as irresistible and intense as I have. (She accidentally said, “Can I try the brainwashing machine now?” at one point. Talk about your Freudian slips…)

 

After a while, we finally needed breakfast, and so we all took a break to head out to IHOP (eggnog pancakes=Heaven!) Then we came back, and Lady Ru’etha put a very pretty collar on thrall and had her post to her blog while hypnotized. I was in trance at the time myself, but it occurred to me in a drifty sort of way that the kind of conditioning Lady Ru’etha does is far more effective than the usual “evil hypnotist” stuff in a lot of the stories on the EMCSA…She was just filling thrall up with praise and pleasure and affirmation on a very primal level, making her feel so happy just for doing such tiny things for Her. It’s such an addictive experience that I feel very lucky She’s so very ethical. πŸ™‚

 

Then, at thrall’s request, we took a few photos and videos of her going under (strictly for our own private scrapbooks, sorry.) I was the “cameraman”, and let me tell you, when you’ve spent the better part of a day being conditioned to go into a deep, eyes-closed trance whenever someone else goes under, it’s pretty hard to make the transition to “eyes open, holding the camera steady.” I’m pretty sure I had the world’s glassiest stare when I was snapping pics.

 

After that, we did an induction where I held a pocket-watch between the two of us and Lady Ru’etha did the inducing, which was seriously nice. I remember that without Lady Ru’etha even needing to say anything, the pocket-watch just kept getting heavier and heavier after we both closed our eyes, so that by the time She finally woke us, it was lying on the couch. By this point, I was so seriously fractionated that Lady Ru’etha had to wake me about three times every time She brought me up before it would actually take for more than a few seconds, but nobody minded. πŸ™‚

 

Eventually, though, all good things come to an end, and thrall had to get back on the road. But both Lady Ru’etha and I are looking forward to her next visit…although, I suspect, not as much as she is. πŸ™‚

down

November 11, 2009

i am deeo and happy. Goddess has taken e so deeep, and She linked me to thrall with a golden cable when we traneced. when i went deeper, it deepened thralls tracnel. when thrall went deeper, i sank deeper and deeper. my programeing went down the cable into thrall, making her compliant and passive and codile and more obedient. thrall went very deep, was very happy. my eyes were stuk tight shut, but i could feel her pleasure through the cable. Goddess commanded her, commanded me, we obeyed and felt the programming sink deep and lock in.

 

And now she’s off for home, and I’m awake (and cringing at the typos–it’s not just the trance, I’m also typing on a laptop. πŸ™‚ ) Check both my blog and thrall’s for more about the fun. πŸ™‚