So Right Then…

I should probably start by explaining why I haven’t posted in about a year.

It’s actually nothing particularly exciting, really. I’m at a job that is more intensive in mental effort (my previous job, which I was laid off from in 2010, was high on physical effort but very low on mental, so I could write these posts in my head, along with my stories and anything else that came to mind.) I don’t have as much headspace for this as I used to. What I do have, I devote to my actual life of pleasing my Goddess, which is more important than writing even though there is overlap. This may change. It hopefully will change. But it’s why I haven’t been around here much.

Meanwhile, I will share an anecdote with you that should hope to illuminate that while I am silent, it is the happy kind of silence. The other day, I was driving Goddess home and I said to Her, “I think we should cut down the side roads. I think that the highway is about to get very congested.” She said, “I was just about to say the same thing.”

I said, “Isn’t it great that we think so much alike, even on the little things?” She replied, “It’s probably because I’m occupying so much of your brain.”

There’s definitely a happy there, and my readers will understand just what it is.

A Vaguely Amusing Anecdote

Did you know that there’s a “mind control” powerset in ‘City of Heroes’?

That’s not the whole thing, by the way. It’s just by way of background. There’s a set of abilities that focuses on controlling the minds of your enemies, either to force them to sleep (“Mesmerize” and “Mass Hypnosis”) or to freeze them in place (“Dominate” and “Total Domination”) or to trick them into battling your enemies (“Confuse” and “Mass Confusion”.) The F/X for the powers even involve giant spiral hypnodiscs manifesting from your forehead.

Needless to say, one of my very first characters was a Mind Controller. So was one of my very second. But I had to delete them. Because as much as I naturally associated hypnosis with beautiful women in skimpy outfits using their powers to enthrall people into doing their bidding, I was playing the game with friends, and I didn’t want my hypnosis fetish to come out quite that way. So I actually wound up “officially” making a mind controller very late in my playing history, simply because it took me ages to come up with one that wasn’t sexually charged and kinky.

One of my latest characters, though, is a female mind controller who uses her sinister powers to hollow out the minds of her enemies and turn them into her puppets. Because what can I say, I got a weakness for the classics. 🙂

The One Time I Can’t Be Hypnotized

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while might have gotten the idea that when it comes to resisting hypnosis, I’m a marshmallow…especially when it comes to Lady Ru’etha. Those of you who have gotten that idea would be abso-freaking-lutely right. I am a total marshmallow. I am totally unable to resist Lady Ru’etha. Absolutely totally no resistance at all…most of the time.

But when I’m in the car, none of Lady Ru’etha’s tricks work. Her most hypnotic, sensual words bounce right off my skull. Even Her triggers don’t do anything. I am completely and totally impervious to Lady Ru’etha’s hypnosis, indeed to any hypnosis, whenever I’m behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

Why? Because Lady Ru’etha commanded it. Back at the beginning of our relationship, She put in several commands designed to ensure my safety and reassure me that She did, in fact, have my best interests at heart. One of them was that whenever I was driving, I would be immune to hypnosis and would not go into a trance no matter what…because trance and driving don’t mix. (General rule of thumb, there: Trance and driving DO NOT MIX. Fun safety tip from your friendly neighborhood Jukebox!)

She’s had fun a few times testing Her command just to make sure that I won’t go under. I never have. It makes me feel safer…which means, in turn, that I go under that much easier when I’m not in the car. Because hypnosis is ultimately a bond of trust…and by showing me that She cares about my safety, She has made that bond that much stronger.

Behind the Music: Voices Carry

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done one of these, but you might remember that it’s a series about how my real-life experiences with hypnosis informed different stories I’ve written. This time, I’m going to discuss “Voices Carry”.

Actually, the reason I haven’t posted about this one is that to some extent, I kind of already did. Back in the first incarnation of this blog, when it was on HypnoThoughts, I posted a fairly detailed recounting of a truly wonderful experience I had with Lady Ru’etha during a brief layover She had in the Twin Cities. We had some lovely public tranceplay, some delicious snuggling, some quiet conversation…it was a very special day.

What I didn’t mention in that post is that I immediately left the airport and headed for work after Lady Ru’etha got onto Her plane, feeling like I was lighter than air the whole way. And the song playing on the radio was, you guessed it, “Voices Carry”. And I’m so bouncy that everything sounds romantic, even a song that’s very clearly about a romance where one partner is ashamed of letting anyone know that he’s dating the other, and I’m doing my usual thing of thinking about the title of whatever song I’m listening to on the radio and wondering if it could be made into a story…and then it hits me. We were doing public play. What if someone had overheard Her hypnotizing me and gotten drawn in?

From there, the story flowed very naturally and organically. The main character became a woman, because hello, cute woman being seduced by hypnotic Goddess = awesome! The story became a very thinly-veiled version of what actually happened (except that in the story, Lady Ru’etha was heading home, not heading out on a trip, because I thought it lent more of an interesting tone to the ending knowing that the main character lived in the same city as the hypnodomme. Oh, and the places are all fictionalized.) And the end result is probably one of my favorite stories.

OK, it wasn’t that short. But it would have been a lot longer if I hadn’t already described most of it.

An Amusing Anecdote

Lady Ru’etha and I are in the midst of watching ‘The She-Creature’ on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I wanted to make sure She saw this one because it’s got a freaking metric ton of hypnosis (it’s an old black-and-white movie made during the whole “Bridey Murphy” recovering-past-lives-through-hypnosis craze, something about which I will talk more in a future blog entry.) And it features use after use after use of one of the MST3K gang’s lovable catchphrases, shouting “SLEEEEEEEP!” a la Bela Lugosi in Bride of the Monster. Any time there’s an over-elaborate, drawn-out hypnosis sequence, they short-circuit it with a shout of “SLEEEEEEEEEEP!”

Lady Ru’etha suggested (jokingly) that the two of us should go to a signing by one of the MST3K actors (probably Kevin Murphy, who did the majority of the shouts.) She would ask him to try the “SLEEEEEEP!” shout on me, which he would no doubt obligingly do…to no effect. Then She would look at him and say, “Hmm, I think I know what I’ve been doing wrong.” Then She’d turn to me and shout, “SLEEEEEEEEEP!” Having previously made sure it was a trigger, of course.

Thankfully, She’d never actually do it (because it would actually work.) But it was quite funny to hear.

Post NEEHU2 Round-Up!

First, sorry I didn’t liveblog from NEEHU this year like I did last year. It’s not really as easy as it looks to liveblog a con, and although we planned to give it a try, it just sort of went by the wayside as we found better things to do.

Actually, in my case, it was more sort of “better things to watch”. I found myself very much in the role of an observer at this year’s NEEHU, which is by no means a bad thing; I get plenty of absolutely ecstatic hypnosis play when I’m at home, and so it’s nice to just sort of kick back, reconnect with people I don’t see very often, and watch them get their brains utterly blissed out beyond belief. Which happened a lot. 🙂

We left (“we” being Lady Ru’etha, SleepyKitten and I) on Thursday morning at “ugh o’clock”, arriving in New England in the early afternoon. After securing a hotel for the night (since the convention proper didn’t start until Friday, we had to snag a cheap hotel for the night before) we began to notify the five other people who were sharing a room with us that evening where they needed to go. CURRENT NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN RU’ETHA’s ROOM: 8.

Thursday evening was basically just a night of catching up, eating pizza, and being goofy before heading off in the morning to the hotel we’d be using for the con. (Which was magnificent, by the way. Gorgeous amenities, full kitchen in the suite, two bedrooms in the suite, three TVs, DVD player, grocery shopping service…seriously, the consensus was that we wanted to steal the entire hotel and take it with us to other conventions.)

Friday evening, the con actually began at the Society, a local BDSM club that was nice enough to rent out space to us. We got an excellent stage hypnosis show (this is where the whole “watching” thing starts; I enjoyed the heck out of the show, but you could not have pried me up there with a crowbar. Lady Ru’etha didn’t ask me to go up there, because She could tell that even I have a few hard limits, and this was one of them.) One of Her other pets, Twinklie, did go up near the end, though. Oh, and there was also a “meet and greet” which was a nice chance to catch up with the New England gang that I hadn’t seen in a few months. And a few authors, as well; it was, as always, a pleasure to catch up with Wiseguy and his wonderful wife, and I got to meet Trey Gallant and Witchman for the first time (although Witchman was but a fleeting presence, unfortunately.) And ChewToy also livened up the proceedings by attending.

(It should be noted, by the way, that SleepyKitten and Twinklie weren’t formally Her pets at that point in the con. This is what’s known as “foreshadowing”, and is a sign of what a slick author I am. 🙂 )

After the stage show, we rounded up everyone who was staying with us (some of whom had come over from the cheap motel, some of whom arrived that day and were staying with us, some of whom were just in need of crash space, and one of whom became an impromptu addition to the room when we found out that her crash space plans had fallen through unexpectedly and she was a really sweet person we all liked.) This wasn’t as easy as it looked, since only one person had driven out of our entire party, but lots of people were very willing to volunteer the extra seats in their cars. Thanks to those people! CURRENT NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN RU’ETHA’s ROOM: 12.

The next day, we sluggishly got going (but we weren’t the only ones. The entire con got pushed back an hour by a combination of late sleepers and the aforementioned carpooling conundrum.) I attended a round-table on “How To Be A Better Subject”, where I hope I added value with my contributions, and a panel on “Negotiating a Scene”, likewise. (Although I suspect I mostly just gave Lady Ru’etha backrubs for that one. YUM!) Then after lunch, I went to a “Mind Control Authors Round-Table” with the aforementioned Wiseguy, Trey Gallant, Reth Eldirood, and a few appreciative fans. (Although, as with last year, the authors outnumbered the fans. This means they can’t try anything, though.)

Afterwards, we took a dinner break and got changed for the play party, which began with a formal collaring ceremony for Twinklie and SleepyKitten. Lady Ru’etha came up with the ceremony, which was really sweet and very well attended by the folks at NEEHU…who were all so sweet and supportive that it really did take my breath away. The ceremony wasn’t about me (see, more of the “watching” thing!) but I really thought it was beautiful and I was happy to do my small part in it. The rest of the play party, I spent chatting with more of the Boston crowd who I hadn’t seen the previous day, while appreciating Twinklie (who was nude by that point in the evening. It’s nice to have a poly Domme who doesn’t mind sharing. 🙂 ) Eventually, after a lot of fun was had by all, we headed back to the room around 2 AM. CURRENT NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN RU’ETHA’s ROOM: 12.

The next day, I was unfortunately sidelined with a headache, which meant I missed the chance to say goodbye to a lot of great people. I did recover, though, in time for the Doctor Who viewing party we had that evening, where many people stopped by to watch “Day of the Moon” (followed by the penultimate episode of “The Amazing Race”.) Then we hot-tubbed, and afterwards Lady Ru’etha kept a (very joyful) promise to another boyfriend of Hers that She would spend at least one night in bed with him. This meant I had to sleep next to a once-again-entirely-nude Twinklie. Oh dear. However shall I bear such torment. 🙂

In all seriousness, Twinklie made me feel very comfortable and welcome in her presence, turning what could have been a bit of an awkward experience (anyone who knows me knows that I’m submissive enough that I don’t even think about approaching other women sexually, even though Lady Ru’etha is poly and very encouraging on that front) into a warm, happy, deeply enjoyable time for both of us. Considerations toward the others in the room (CURRENT NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN RU’ETHA’s ROOM: 9) kept it from being anything other than cuddling, but it was nice cuddling and it felt good to feel cared for like that. So much so that we kept it up the next day, which certainly made Lady Ru’etha very happy. 😉

The next morning, it was time to go, and the trip to the airport featured lots of tearful goodbyes. We’ll all see each other again, but as is always the case with such things, it’s never soon enough. Thanks to everyone who made NEEHU2 an experience even better than NEEHU1!

A Novel Induction

You hear a lot about different inductions, but they all tend to be of the “look at my swinging (watch/crystal/pendant/jockstrap/ham sandwich) and feel your eyes getting heavy”, or “listen to the ticking metronome and the sound of my voice” variety. There aren’t a lot of kinesthetic inductions out there, and so when I got hit with one yesterday, I decided to blog about it. (And it had nothing at all to do with Lady Ru’etha suggesting I blog about it. No siree.)

The induction itself was almost ludicrously simple; She and I were standing next to the enormous bean bag couch in our basement (it can be unzipped to reveal two king-size beds inside) and She just gave me a gentle push. I fell backwards onto the bean bag; She flopped down next to me, and by the time She did, I was already under. Something about the motion of falling backwards, combined with the stimulus of Her push and the knowledge that She wanted me to fall, combined with the relaxing feeling of falling onto something soft and cushioning…it was just a perfect way to fall into trance, literally. I went about as deep as I ever go, and in a very short period of time.

I’d like to tell you that we then went on to do naughty things, but there really wasn’t time. 🙂 She woke me after a few minutes and we went on with our busy day. But it was a very nice way of going under, one I suspect She’ll play with again when we have a little more time to explore it.

Rapport Is Wonderful

It’s genuinely amazing, sometimes, just how much my conditioning has put me into rapport with Lady Ru’etha. The other night, we were cuddling together in bed, and I was reading to Her (this is actually pretty common for us. She likes the way I read, and I like…well, I like things that She likes. 🙂 ) While we were so cuddling, She was touching me in some very enjoyable ways in some very enjoyable places. But it didn’t actually disrupt my reading at all.

The second I was done with the selection I was reading, I dropped into trance instantly and started to give off little whimpers of pleasure. My whole mindset changed, focusing on just what She was doing to my body for the first time (and my body started, um, reacting in ways that it hadn’t been when I was reading.) Understand, She wasn’t doing anything different to me than She had when I was reading: It was simply that on a subconscious level, I understood that I had a service I was performing, and it wasn’t time to feel that pleasure to its fullest extent and react accordingly. But as soon as I was done, my subconscious understood that it was time to do, um…other things. Very happy other things. 🙂

It’s nice, knowing that my conditioning has taken root so deeply that She doesn’t need inductions or even triggers (although She still enjoys using them, of course.) All that’s really needed by now is an understanding of Her will…and after almost a decade of knowing each other, my understanding is pretty well honed.

FFF Round-Up!

Last week, I…actually intended to write about what I did the week before the week I posted about the new book, but I didn’t post about it right away because I wanted to tell you all about the new book, but then somehow I didn’t post anything last week (last week was kind of crazy busy, but I usually at least remember procrastinating) and now I’m going to write about what I did the weekend of the 11th through the 13th. Which was, as I mentioned the week before that weekend, Fetish Fair Fleamarket. Got all that? Good, because I am not repeating it.

We arrived on Thursday, late (we in this case is myself, Lady Ru’etha, and CopperHeron, my fellow pet and co-husband.) Luckily, events didn’t start until late on Friday, giving us plenty of time to wake up, decompress from the flight, catch a bite to eat for lunch, generally prepare, and even have a romantic dinner before the hypnosis meet-up that evening. Said meet-up was an actual formal panel at the Fair, sponsored by the New England Hypnosis Group (a great outfit that was there to promote their upcoming convention, NEEHU 2.) We went around a surprisingly large circle of people, talking about who we were, why we were into hypnosis, what got us interested, what we liked to do…the panel only lasted an hour, but given that NEHG was hosting a room party about fifteen minutes later that lasted until about 2 AM, the conversation more changed locations than ended. I met several extremely fun people, chatted for hours, and generally just talked about stuff. That was Night One.

Morning Two came by pretty quick, since Lady Ru’etha had Her first panel at Ugh AM. While She talked all about what hypnosis was and how to do it with a very large, appreciative audience, I helped set up Her sales table over with the NEHG folks (who were nice enough to give us some of their limited table space. Thanks, NEHG!) We spent most of the day at the table, chatting with NEHG members, passers-by who had questions about the panel, and anyone who stood still long enough to chat, all the while alternating naps and food runs. (I did most of the latter. One of the things I genuinely enjoy is doing fetch-and-carry service for my Goddess.)

That evening, NEHG had a second room party, and this was the one you probably wanted to be at. Lots of people were doing hypnosis play in both of the two rooms, and Lady Ru’etha in specific had a very full dance card. She hypnotized a lot of people, implanting triggers into submissives for use by their dominants, and having one hell of a sexy vampkink scene with a very beautiful woman. No clothes were shed, but yow was it hot. (Oh, yes, and She did a bit of work with one couple allowing them to feel each other’s arousal. After they snapped out of the trance, the guy looked at the woman and said, “Well, I’m horny as hell. Let’s find someplace to go and have sex.” Lady Ru’etha actually did a Happy Butt Dance where She was sitting.)

Despite the fact that Her dance card was full all night, She still found time to do fun things with me; in addition to the usual trance triggers and demonstrating how brainwashed I am by having me recite my mantras, She also added a new trigger just for that night. When She pointed Her finger and thumb at me like a gun and “shot” me (complete with “Pop!” sound…wonder if She’s a ‘Wild Cards’ fan?) …I would feel it like a tranquilizer dart that sent me into trance over the course of a minute or two. As we both found out, the “drug” was also a euphoric…during the minute or so before I tranced out, I got very giggly and dizzy and happy. She liked it so much She made it a permanent trigger.

She also suggested that I would go under for anyone else who “shot” me, provided my subconscious was comfortable with trance, and indeed one young woman did trigger me like that. Amusingly enough, when she woke me, I then “shot” her with the same effect. That’s the sneaky thing about triggers, especially induction triggers…they’re really just ways to go into trance. They’ll always work if your subconscious wants to go into trance, and in a room full of hypnokinky hypnofetishists, well…who in that room that night didn’t want to go into trance?

I also got to see some very lovely hypno and rope play over the course of the night, which lasted until Way Too Late again. Which was unfortunate, because Lady Ru’etha’s room trance was once again at Ugh AM the next morning. I once again couldn’t be in the room for it, because I was once again outside keeping an eye on the sales table with the NEHG folks, but judging by the way people behaved when they came out, it seems to have been a success. (One hypnotist said he wished he could have taken notes on Her induction techniques. I share this because I am inordinately proud of my Goddess.) Afterwards, it was more food/nap/chat juggling before the Fair packed up and we decamped to the hot tub for a while to relax. Then Doctor SlashBlight came by and recorded a podcast with Lady Ru’etha, and then it was bed again to get up at Oh My God AM to get to the airport. (It is pretty ironic that so many late sleepers had so many early mornings.)

All in all, a very fun experience even though we didn’t really take in any of the non-hypnosis elements of the show (which did look very nice, and I’m sure were lots of fun for all involved.) I would love to go back next year, and who knows? Maybe I will.

Sweet Nothings

Last night, in a wonderful “happy accident”…well, technically, I’m pretty sure She planned it, and I’m certain it would have happened later if it hadn’t happened last night…but last night, Lady Ru’etha wound up taking a long, late nap, and as such was much less tired than I was when it got on towards the end of the evening. She sent me to bed before Her, and I was sound asleep by the time She got to bed.

So She hypnotized me.

There’s a whole different feeling to being tranced from a sleep state as opposed to a waking state. Even though sleep and trance are two different states, the process of emerging from sleep causes your brainwaves to pass through most of the trance states on your way up. And when there’s an expert hypnotist there, rousing you from sleep with a hypnotic induction, the result feels a lot like suddenly finding yourself in the deepest possible trance you could ever have imagined. Because you start to emerge from sleep, but before you can get any kind of traction, your brain says, “Hey, wait, I should be in trance!” And so you are.

As a result there are parts of it that I don’t remember. Lady Ru’etha tells me that I responded to Her verbally, so it wasn’t just that I hadn’t woken up yet, but I was just so deep that most of it is resting very comfortably in the back of my mind. I do remember that it was probably the deepest trance I’ve ever experienced; there were absolutely no filters at all between my mind and Her words. She said it, I thought it, full stop. Which led to some extremely wonderful experiences between the two of us. 😉

Afterwards, She held me and sent me right back down into sleep without ever really getting back into anything close to a waking state. It was a blissful, restful experience that melted the boundaries between trance and sleep perfectly, and oh yes, there was some very nummy brainwashing involved. I hope everyone gets the chance to experience that some day, because it’s just too nice to keep to myself.